Gender

What Are We Fighting For?

What are we fighting for or about? We all need to ask ourselves this question when we conflict with another person, especially a partner or spouse. As a couples and relationship counselor, whenever a couple shares with me about a "fight" they had recently, I often ask them after they have spoken in great detail how their partner was at fault and what they did wrong, "What was the fight about?". Both people start repeating what the other person said and did wrong and how they did it right. The focus is generally on the content rather than what the fight was about....

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A New Study Reveals the Secret of Why Men Fall in Love

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Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster To Reiki Master - healthy Masculinity - recovery - healing - self-help - trauma

Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here.

 

 

 

Why men fall in love. This is not as obvious as it seems on the surface.

When I was an adolescent boy, I was very confused about what it was that I liked about girls besides their physical appearance. There were girls who I thought were very pretty and attractive, but I had no desire to be with them. Conversely, there were girls that I was only mildly physically attracted to, but they were fun, intelligent, attractive, creative, and forces of nature, which turned me on in a completely different way. When attracted to them, physically, mentally, and emotionally, my brain didn't work well! I was flooded with emotions, feelings, and thoughts that I didn't know what to do with, and I felt shame about most of them. Looking back, I am aware that physical attraction was often the starting point. It didn't make sense to me because I did not have a "type" of girl that I was attracted to. I was confused by how I felt powerless about who I got excited about and who I didn't.

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I Want To Know How Human You Are

Can we be unmistakenly human? Are we willing to dive completely into the full human experience without holding back? How human are you? I mean, really human without masks, protection, and deception? I invite you to read Taylor Rose Godfrey's painfully beautiful essay on being human in Elephant Journal with an open heart and mind....

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Fight Languages: How we Argue Is Key to Healthy Relationships

For those of you who have been reading my posts for a while, you are aware of The Rules For Fair Fighting in Relationships. Many of you know the Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, Ph.D., introduced. If not, you can learn about them easily here. What are the five love languages? The concept of fight languages having a name is new to me. I understood the principles but did not have a term to express them. How we fight with our partner(s), friends, family, and neighbors often defines the nature of our relationships. Understanding how your partner or friends/family argue is essential to creating thoughtful, loving resolutions, trust, and safety....

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Honest Sex – An Updated Definition of Sex

Honest Sex. It is time for an updated, honest definition of sex. It is not 1958, and we are not the people we were then culturally. We want honest sex that meets the needs of all of us, not just a few. We look different, dress differently, connect differently, and act differently; we meet our dates and partners differently. Why would we not want to update our definition of sex? Let's explore this article on Honest Sex by Shana James from The Gottman Institute....

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My Fantasy of the Dalai Lama was Shattered & I am Sad Today

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed yesterday and noticed that a friend I respect and admire had made a casual, sarcastic, and off-putting comment about the Dalai Lama. My initial reaction was, “What the f*ck?” Anger, betrayal, and rejection of my friend, not the Dalai Lama, rose inside me. She does not typically speak harshly of people. So, I did what we did in 2023: I did a Google search on the Dalai Lama. The first eight articles were about him and his life. When I read the ninth, my heart sank, and my spine went limp for a split second. “The ...

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The World Needs More Healers—Not More Flakes.

This morning, Elephant Journal published one of my articles, The World Needs More Healers—Not More Flakes,  and it is an editor's Pick of The Week! Here is an excerpt from The World Needs More Healers—Not More Flakes.:   I don’t know how this came to be, but somehow the new age community thinks that one has to be a flake in order to be a healer. "I can tell you with complete certainty one can be a healer, shaman, teacher, or Reiki Master without being a flake. The shift toward flakiness is curious. I am grateful that the dogmatic version of spiritu...

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