Life
New Relationship Energy and Ethical Non-Monogamy
New relationship energy can be amazing, full of life and fresh air! Everything tastes and smells differently. Alarm clocks seem less annoying; laundry creates an opportunity to recall recent memories of what I wore when we did ______, and traffic jams offer space for a few quick texts to say, "Hello and I miss you". There is a part of most of us that wishes we could hold on to these moments forever. However, there can be obstacles that this magical period produces. The transition to a potential long-term relationship and all that often accompanies this shift can feel disappointing and "normal" all too quickly. The alarm clock and traffic return to their annoying selves. Staying up till 2:00 am talking is about whose turn it is to do the dishes or laundry instead of whose turn it is to receive a back rub or foot massage. It happens in a flash....
How Sobriety Strategies Can Help Anxious People Reenter Society After The Pandemic
This article discusses strategies that work for recovering alcoholics and addicts and may help people who are choosing to return to their lives pre-pandemic. The basic recovery principles of accepting what is true right now, creating and sticking to a plan, identifying feelings/emotions, connecting with the community, and gratitude are the cornerstones of recovery. For my first few years, they were vital to my survival. Today, they are a natural part of my life expressed in ways that are more representative of who I am now.
I encourage you to be patient with yourself and allow space for the more challenging feelings and emotions you may experience, like anxiety, distance, being overwhelmed, panic, anxiousness, depression, and possibly wanting to hide under the covers. For most people, these emotions will be temporary. Let your friends and family know what you are going through if that feels safe. I highly recommend having some fun, plain old simple fun! Laugh and play as often as you can! Just because you are re-entering society does not mean you have to consume more alcohol/drugs than you know is good for you. Fun is the goal, not another form of numbness or reason to feel isolated. The principles below may be helpful guides for you as you expand your world to your specific needs and wants.
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Thich Nhat Hanh Passed To The Next Dimension
There are about two handfuls of people who have shaped the course of my life beyond friends and family. Tich Nhat Hanh was one of them. We can add Martin Luther King Jr., Dalai Lama, Louise Hay, Thomas Merton, Mevlana Julaluddin Rumi, G.I. Gurdjieff, John Lennon , Mikao Usui, Mahatma Gandhi, and my former Teacher and Mentor Rev Betsy Browder. to this list. Today he passed to the next dimension.
He and Louise Hay are where my journey into meditation began in 1990. There were not many books one could find on meditation at the time. Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh, and You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay are the two that made the most sense to me. I felt like they were key to a door that I somehow knew existed without any rhyme or reason to think there was such a door. I do not think I am being theatrical in saying that they saved my life.
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What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy? A Beginners Guide
What is ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy, and what is not ethical non-monogamy? Ethical non-monogamy is when a couple mutually decides to add other lovers or romantic or sexual partners to their existing relationship. I want to be clear: ethical non-monogamy is NOT having an affair or one-night stand(s) without having your partner's consent and support IN ADVANCE.
Since the author of the article below explores ethical non-monogamy, I will primarily focus on what it is not.
Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) Is Not:
Being attracted to someone else and ...
Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone. Be Afraid of Being In A Bad Relationship
Being alone. One of the greatest fears many people experience. Those in difficult and/or toxic relationships debate between being alone and being in a bad relationship often, even daily. Being alone can be a terrifying fear that can create desperation and self-destruction.
How do we know when a relationship has reached the point where being alone is less challenging than being present?...
18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors
There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors since we have diverse training, backgrounds, and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no," protecting yourself, and letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well.
My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list: "Feelings are not facts." I wish we could all integrate this nugget of wisdom into our lives!
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The Future Of Mental Health Treatment
I think most people would agree that the mental health system is not effectively serving our communities. Individuals can be treated as a "problem" or "defective/broken". Couples are often seen as failures. Families, especially parents, get judged and belittled. Where is the compassion or understanding? Why are most therapists, clinicians, and counselors more concerned about charging a rate that "respects their self-value" than considering their client's ability to receive services without adding undo stress due to prohibitive costs or not even being able to afford the fees at all? Then there is the whole insurance industry!!!
Holistic counselors, therapists, social workers, and psychologists offer respite from the mainstream mental health system, and we still often do not meet the needs of our clients. There are so many variables that contribute to mental and emotional challenges, including diet, sleep/rest, exercise, "the gut", the nervous system, trauma(s), finances, work, school, relationships, environment, sensory issues, childhood attachments or lack of attachments, etc. We share so many common characteristic and experiences as humans but our specific journeys are incredibly complex and unique, therefore, treatments needs to be unique to the individual, couple or family....
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
