Gray area drinking is hard to define and diagnose. We have been working with only two possible narratives around people who consume alcohol: either you are an alcoholic, or you are not an alcoholic. There has not been a third, fourth, or fifth narrative for those drinking alcohol. That's where gray area drinking comes in! Gray area drinking includes those people who do not feel like they are alcoholics but do drink more often and in larger quantities than they want or feel healthy and balanced. They enjoy a glass of wine or bottle of beer after work but end up drinking much more and falling asleep on the couch. Some gray drinkers determine it is best for them only to drink alcohol one or two times per week but end up drinking five or six nights. They have not paid the same degree of consequences in their life that alcoholics have and are acutely aware that this is not the best they can be doing for themselves and the people that matter most. Gray area drinkers want more from life and do not think going to rehab or A.A. makes sense.
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Parenting & Family
Great Relationships Are Not Accidents
Great relationships are not accidents. It sounds so simple and obvious that it almost feels like it cannot actually be true. I can almost see a pink and purple bumper sticker on an old Volkswagen Bug written in cute letters. How can something as complicated as relationships be so simple, you ask? Great question! The answer to great relationships is equally simple and obvious: trust. Simple and obvious, yes, easy, not so much. When we speak about trust, most people nod their heads in agreement. If we take a closer look at what trust entails, most of us want to curl up in a little ball under the covers....
Green Flags For Your Relationship
We are all familiar with the "red flags" to be aware of when starting a new relationship. The green flags, however, do not get as much attention. We have possibly spent too much time making sure everyone knows what to avoid in relationships and perhaps not enough focus on what to embrace in relationships. The list of green flags is an attempt to offer another lens to view and assess what is productive and necessary to thrive and prosper in relationships.
Of the 6 Little Green Flags That You've Found A Keeper shared below, I would like to focus on just a few of them. Beginning with being your authentic self around them is key. If you feel safe enough around them to not feel like you have to look, sound and/or be different in their presence than you do with your inner circle, it is essential. Or, from the reverse perspective, why would you want to be with someone who does not feel like being yourself is enough or acceptable? ...
Cultural Competency & 7 Things You Should Expect from a Mental Health Professional
I am incredibly grateful for the experience of working with the Urban League for several years. The National Urban League works to provide economic empowerment, educational opportunities, and the guarantee of civil rights for the underserved in America. I had the opportunity to work with and be supervised by many excellent social workers, community organizers, and counselors who trained me in cultural competency as a mental health professional and social worker. Of course, there is always more to learn. There are so many different cultures, religions, and sub-cultures both here in the United States and around the world that it is impossible to truly achieve cultural competency. However, we can continue to learn and grow to support our communities to the best of our ability. Cultural competency is a process. not a static destination.
COVID Care For Self – Our Brains Are Responding
COVID care is important. Our brains and bodies have new processes to consider and respond to. I imagine this might be similar to those we are living in a new war zone. Their brains and bodies have to adapt to a new version of life. Many exceptional neurologists and social science researchers are doing great work in informing us of how these events affect our brains and emotions. I find the information very helpful for the clients I work with and for my personal experiences. I have been mindful about COVID care and making sure I acknowledge that I should NOT be feeling how I typically do with so much change and uncertainty....
Gender Roles of Listening – It’s Not About The Nail
This short film provides an opportunity for us to explore how gender roles of listening are expressed in relationships. I invite you to pay attention to how this short film affects you. Does it bring up anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, frustration, laughter, or any other emotions? What are your thoughts about your current or previous partners as you watch this short film? Do you find yourself blaming them or yourself for past or current challenges?
https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg
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What Is Gray Area Drinking and What Can I do About it?
Learning To Meditate
Learning to meditate is hard. This is my experience with learning to meditate. I was coming up on six months clean and sober. My sponsor's sponsor, which I jokingly used to call my grand sponsor, was coming up on 40 years sober. I used to enjoy talking with old Bill often. He was kind, respectful, direct, and openhearted. These were all qualities that I had desired, but I did not know how to express them myself or know many people who did, for that matter. So I used to like to talk with him whenever possible. He was one of the few people I trusted even a little.
One night after a meeting, Bill came over and sat next to me. He smiled that soft, gentle smile that typically made me feel safe, if only momentary. On that particular Friday night, I was not able to tap into his smile in order to shift the sadness, desperation, and frustration I was experiencing. Bill noticed this immediately. He leaned over and put his right hand on my left elbow, "How are you doing, young man?". Bill was old enough to forget pretty much everyone's name, and we were all either Young Man or Young Woman, regardless of age or any other identifying factors.
I let out a deep sigh and felt my belly clinch, "I'm not doing so good, Bill. I go to meetings, I talk to my sponsor, I hang out with all my recovering friends, I pray every night before I go to bed, and every morning when I wake up, I still feel miserable. I feel like it's never going to get better for me, and there's nothing I can do about it."
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Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
