Parenting & Family


Stop Trying To Fix Me – I Am Not Broken

I am not broken. As often is the case when we try to "fix" somebody, we inadvertently tell them we think they are broken. Why would something need to be "fixed" if it is not broken? This poem by Jeff Foster is a beautiful Illustration of a person who has the strength and courage to say, "I am not broken!". I am not a lost cat with a broken leg, a muffler, or a hot water heater. I am a human being who deserves respect, care, affection, and attention. I am not broken. It is not your job to fix me, nor is it wanted or helpful. Love me instead....

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Reiki Research: An Effectiveness Trial of Reiki

New Reiki research is available! We have been waiting for a large-scale study on the effects of Reiki physically and psychologically. More Reiki research needs to take place, but this is important to the Reiki community. Natalie L. Dyer, Ann L. Baldwin, and William L. Rand conducted this new abstract of Reiki research with Harvard University. Many of you are familiar with William L. Rand from the International Center for Reiki Training. William is also a Reiki Master in one of my Reiki Lineages. 
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Reflections on Compassion

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." Pema Chödrön "Compassion, however, is a renewable resource. When you are able to feel empathy but then extend a hand to alleviate someone’s pain, you are less likely to burn out. Research indicates that compassion and empathy use different regions of the brain and that compassion can combat empathetic ...

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Why Connection Matters

Connection matters. It is easy to forget how important connecting with others is, but connection matters. A sense of belonging and acceptance can be essential to our experience of self, safety, and trust. I generally do not publish posts this long, but all three excerpts helped create a complete picture of why connection matters.  I want to add one element to the discussion of why connection matters.

This is similar to when people use the inaccurate phrase, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first."  My experience has demonstrated that we can't know ourselves without being connected to others to reflect who we are, not who we want to believe we are, so we feel better about ourselves. I know deep inside that I am a thoughtful, compassionate, and caring human being because those character traits are expressed easily and organically when I am connected with other humans. When I am not connected with other humans, I have to rely on my current self-assessment to determine whether those things are true or not. History has taught me, and most of us, that our inner narrative is typically either false or one of many parts of a whole self, not the actual whole person.

The problem with the statement, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first." is that very few people, if any, can love themselves without experiencing love in their life. We need to feel love to love ourselves.  We have to know what love feels like to love ourselves. This is another reason why connection matters.  When we feel connected and have a sense of belonging, it is much easier to love ourselves and others. Without feeling love, I can be a bit of a crapshoot....

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The Sober Curious Movement