Race & Culture
Great Relationships Are Not Accidents
Great relationships are not accidents. It sounds so simple and obvious that it almost feels like it cannot actually be true. I can almost see a pink and purple bumper sticker on an old Volkswagen Bug written in cute letters. How can something as complicated as relationships be so simple, you ask? Great question! The answer to great relationships is equally simple and obvious: trust. Simple and obvious, yes, easy, not so much. When we speak about trust, most people nod their heads in agreement. If we take a closer look at what trust entails, most of us want to curl up in a little ball under the covers....
Cultural Competency & 7 Things You Should Expect from a Mental Health Professional
I am incredibly grateful for the experience of working with the Urban League for several years. The National Urban League works to provide economic empowerment, educational opportunities, and the guarantee of civil rights for the underserved in America. I had the opportunity to work with and be supervised by many excellent social workers, community organizers, and counselors who trained me in cultural competency as a mental health professional and social worker. Of course, there is always more to learn. There are so many different cultures, religions, and sub-cultures both here in the United States and around the world that it is impossible to truly achieve cultural competency. However, we can continue to learn and grow to support our communities to the best of our ability. Cultural competency is a process. not a static destination.
COVID Care For Self – Our Brains Are Responding
COVID care is important. Our brains and bodies have new processes to consider and respond to. I imagine this might be similar to those we are living in a new war zone. Their brains and bodies have to adapt to a new version of life. Many exceptional neurologists and social science researchers are doing great work in informing us of how these events affect our brains and emotions. I find the information very helpful for the clients I work with and for my personal experiences. I have been mindful about COVID care and making sure I acknowledge that I should NOT be feeling how I typically do with so much change and uncertainty....
Learning To Meditate
Learning to meditate is hard. This is my experience with learning to meditate. I was coming up on six months clean and sober. My sponsor's sponsor, which I jokingly used to call my grand sponsor, was coming up on 40 years sober. I used to enjoy talking with old Bill often. He was kind, respectful, direct, and openhearted. These were all qualities that I had desired, but I did not know how to express them myself or know many people who did, for that matter. So I used to like to talk with him whenever possible. He was one of the few people I trusted even a little.
One night after a meeting, Bill came over and sat next to me. He smiled that soft, gentle smile that typically made me feel safe, if only momentary. On that particular Friday night, I was not able to tap into his smile in order to shift the sadness, desperation, and frustration I was experiencing. Bill noticed this immediately. He leaned over and put his right hand on my left elbow, "How are you doing, young man?". Bill was old enough to forget pretty much everyone's name, and we were all either Young Man or Young Woman, regardless of age or any other identifying factors.
I let out a deep sigh and felt my belly clinch, "I'm not doing so good, Bill. I go to meetings, I talk to my sponsor, I hang out with all my recovering friends, I pray every night before I go to bed, and every morning when I wake up, I still feel miserable. I feel like it's never going to get better for me, and there's nothing I can do about it."
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Self-Doubt & The Big Question Mark
I am fascinated by how many strong, courageous, and successful people have layers upon layers of self-doubt. Self-doubt creeps into almost every nook and cranny of their being. When others see them as bright, amazing, and enjoyable, they see themselves as stupid, mediocre, and a burden. This is where self-doubt interrupts the ability to achieve our internal and external dreams and aspirations.
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The Six Types of Courage
Courage. Bravery. Boldness. Fearlessness. When I think of courage, I see an image of someone standing by themselves with shredded clothes full of blood and sweat. Other images of courage that appear in my mind are a parent carrying children through a storm or desert or a group of people holding hands with eyes filled with tears, caring for each other as if there is no other choice but to love and love more. I recall an image of a person in the flood water of New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina bringing supplies to their family....
When Trauma Blocking Gets in the Way
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
My Memoir Available Now!
