Something in a person’s past makes them feel like they should be in a bad relationship. Another way to look at it is that something in their past also makes them afraid to be alone, so they stay with a lousy partner.
Dr. Lachmann suggests that this isn’t uncommon. Everyone holds on to something from their past that makes them feel undeserving in some way. For some people, it manifests in the form of staying in a toxic relationship.
It can be hard to change this pattern, but the first step to change is to realize you need to change. For this to happen, it may take an outside influence to help you see the issues you are dealing with.
You may be financially dependent on your partner.
When you get most or all your financial support from someone, it can be terrifying to even think about leaving. The world is expensive and getting pricier by the minute. Good intentions don’t pay bills.
It can be tough to strike out on your own when you have no money, support, or resources. In fact, it can be crippling, which is precisely why you would stay in a bad relationship. However, this doesn’t mean you are stuck. It just means you need to prepare to struggle a little bit, and you need to get creative.
There are programs out there that can help people coming out of abusive relationships. They won’t provide the best resources, but they will provide you with enough to get out of the relationship and get to stand on your own two feet. If you’re worried about handling life alone, you may be pleasantly surprised at how well you handle it when you give yourself a chance to.
Here is why you shouldn’t be afraid to be alone.
Psychologists agree that being alone is better than being in a bad relationship. In fact, it might be rejuvenating for a person to focus on themselves. Here are some reasons you should embrace being alone.
You can focus on building yourself up.
Being in a lousy relationship can do a number on your self-esteem. Your confidence may have hit the floor, and you might be at the end of your rope. When you are single, it’s so much easier to get your self-esteem back. This is because you don’t have some lousy partner eating away at your self-love.
If it helps, don’t think of being single as being alone. Think of it as you are dating yourself. Get to know yourself. Find out what you like – what makes you tick. Take yourself on nice dates and buy yourself nice gifts. Make yourself happy. Fall in love with yourself.
When you love yourself, you won’t ever have to worry about being in a bad relationship again. Your self-esteem and self-worth will be so high that no one can bring it down.
You’ll have room in your life for the partner of your dreams.
If you’re in a relationship, you aren’t going to be able to meet the right person for you. The right person will have too much respect for your relationship to deal with you. That’s exactly what you want – someone who respects boundaries.
Don’t miss your Mr. or Mrs. Right because you’re trying to hold on to someone who is obviously so wrong. It’s scary, but you must believe that there are good, worthy people out there that can make you happy. You also need to make sure that you’ve healed from dealing with the wrong person so that you don’t let those old feelings affect your new relationship.
You can believe that it’s okay to be alone.
People seem to give the status of “alone” or “single” such a negative connotation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being attached. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be attached.
Society tends to make people think they should be dating by a certain age, married by a certain age, and have kids by a certain age. At one point in history, this may have been the norm, but now it’s not. People are more focused on themselves and their careers than ever before.
People are more interested in living life to the fullest before settling down, and that’s okay. If you take the time to fully focus on the things you want to do in life before you settle down, you won’t have any regrets later in life. You won’t feel trapped, and you won’t feel unfulfilled.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into believing something is wrong with you for wanting to be alone. Embrace all that being alone has to offer.
You’ll discover what you really want in a partner.
Being in a lousy relationship can sometimes cause you to have on blinders. You’ll be so consumed with emotions from dealing with your partner that you don’t have time to think about what you really want. Sure, you may wish that your partner did certain things or acted a certain way, but when you’re so emotionally invested in a situation like this, it can be hard to think clearly.
Being single allows you to focus on what you genuinely want in a relationship. The freedom you’ll have lets you truly get in touch with your feelings. You’ll have the added benefit of dating – even if it’s hard – and this can help you discover all the traits you don’t want in a partner.
Final Thoughts on Being Alone Instead of in a Bad Relationship
Humans are naturally social creatures, so it’s no surprise that people really don’t want to be alone. However, being alone doesn’t mean you have to be alone forever. Being alone can be a period of enlightenment that helps you grow and become a better person.
One thing is for certain – you shouldn’t stay in a bad relationship out of fear of being alone. No one benefits from a lousy relationship, not even the person that’s making the relationship lousy. If you’re in this situation, the best thing you can do is embrace being alone so that you can have a bright and loving future with the right one. In the end, you’ll be glad you faced your fear.
I invite you to share your thoughts and ideas in comments section below. I hope “Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone. Be Afraid of Being In A Bad Relationship” was helpful for you!
Hack Spirit
April 20, 2024 (12:01 am)
some great advice from counselor Michael Swerdloff: Don’t be afraid of being alone. Be afraid of being in a bad relationship.
News Space
April 20, 2024 (12:21 am)
Estão alguns ótimos conselhos do conselheiro Michael Swerdloff: “Não tenha medo de ficar sozinho. Tenha medo de estar em um relacionamento