As Friendships Grow Closer – Jeff Brown
I have been reflecting on this Jeff Brown quote on friendships lately. We tend to focus our efforts towards relationships on our romantic/intimate partnerships and family. But what about friendships?
What if we carried the same intention and effort with our main friendships, or “friendship pods”?
I am incredibly grateful for my core group of friends and how impactful our love, support, and collective commitment are and have been in my life, especially during the height of the pandemic. I am inspired continuously by our willingness as individuals and as a group to walk towards challenges, not away.
“As friendships grow closer, conflict becomes more difficult to avoid. And this is often a good thing. Because the closer we get to each other’s hearts, the more triggers rise into view. Because you can’t fully know someone until you ignite each other’s fire. Because you won’t know if a connection has legs, until it has been tested by conflict. And when it is, there is a choice to be made. Walk away in disgust, or walk toward it an effort to deepen the connection. Conflict isn’t the adversary of connection. Fear of confrontation is.” Jeff Brown
I love these last two lines, “Conflict isn’t the adversary of connection. Fear of confrontation is.”
“Jeff Brown is an iconoclastic visionary about intimate matters. There aren’t many of those around, since most modern geniuses seem devoted to seemingly more glamorous and critical matters like artificial intelligence, 3-D printers, and smart chips implanted in our brains. But the truth is—at least in my view—revolutionizing the way we do our inner work and craft our intimate relationships is the most important action we can take to transform the world. And Jeff provides potent ideas to help us do just that. His rigorous imagination is in service to creating a more emotionally intelligent culture. When I read his words, I get riled up in all the best ways. He disrupts my habitual thought grooves, which inevitably leads to unexpected healings and inspirations. These days the word ‘soul’ gets carelessly bandied around by many lazy and sloppy thinkers, but Jeff is not one of them. He is reverent and impeccable, an astute connoisseur of the soul and its needs.” —ROB BREZSNY
For more on Jeff Brown and his work.
If we desire connection as the outcome of our friendships, we must be willing to risk discomfort and possible conflicts to strengthen and deepen those connections.
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Acknowledging Pain Is Highest Form of Support
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