Providence Life Coach Career Success Series – Finding Your Life Purpose

For many people, finding your life purpose can be a challenging and frustrating experience. There was a time in my life when I did not know what I wanted to do professionally. I had met several times with a career counselor and did a full range of testing. After completing the tests, the career counselor and I went over the results together.

I think what surprised me the most was that I had never considered any of the career choices the results pointed to. I did this testing almost 25 years ago; it never would have occurred to me that being a counselor, addictions specialist, or social worker focused on working with teens and families in crisis would be my life purpose! At the time, I was successfully working as a retail store manager for the previous eight years for a major corporation. Truthfully, the idea of having a “life purpose” was not really on my radar, especially a career and life purpose being the same.

Finding Life Purpose – Push past fear

“It’s so seductive to tell ourselves that’s we’ll go after what we want when we have more experience, more money, or more time, but the truth is, that will never happen. We must identify these excuses as masks for our fear. It’s only when we get clear on our fears and recognize how it is holding us back, we can begin moving forward.” Ashley Wilhite  from Tiny Buddha

The next obstacle between me and my professional career as a social worker and counselor honoring my life purpose was dealing with deep-seated fears and a sense of inadequacy. My fear of doing something that I had never done before professionally and had no professional training created great anxiety and panic. I had not considered the fact that I was always the person that friends and family gravitated to when they needed support, direction, or inspiration. I had not included my personal experience as part of my assessment of self.  Some of the questions I asked myself were, “How can I do this?”, “Where can I get experience?” and “How will I pay for and get admitted to college?” Each question had its own obstacles and perceived limitations.

In spite of myself, I did get admitted to a college, was able to get a part-time job as a social worker, and meditated regularly for direction, clarity, and courage. I can tell you that my friends, family, and associates all thought I was crazy! They were wrong. Experience has taught me that when we identify our life purpose, courage, hard work, and faith seem to pave the way. It turns out the career testing was 100% correct. I have been a professional counselor, life coach, and social worker since 1993. I’m good at what I do, serve the community, and love the work.

Themes Of People Who Find Their Purpose

“There are commonalities among those who find their true purpose for being. One major theme is that they aren’t very preoccupied with self-interest, in their ego-investments in what they do. That can sound contradictory. How can you find your life purpose if you’re not focused on yourself? The fact is, when you’re highly focused on yourself, with getting your goals or needs met — whether in your work or relationships — your purpose becomes obscured. Your ego covers it like clouds blocking the sun. Self-interest, or ego in this sense, is part of being human, of course. It’s something that requires effort and consciousness to move through and let go of so you don’t become transfixed by it, as the Sirens sought to do to Ulysses.

A second theme of those who discover their life purpose is that they use their mental and creative energies to serve something larger than themselves. That is, they’re like the lover who simply gives love for its own sake, without regard for getting something in return, without asking to be loved back or viewing his actions as a transaction or investment. That can be hard to imagine in our mercantile society, but giving your mental, emotional, and creative energy from the heart comes naturally when you serve something larger than your self-interest. It beckons you; it calls forth your spirit.

Some Guidelines For Finding Your Life Purpose

If you work towards weakening the stranglehold of self-interest, you can take an important step towards discovering your life’s purpose: Learning from your choices and way of life. That is, they can give you important feedback about the path you’ve been on in relation to your deeper life purpose.

• Begin by examining what you’re currently doing in your choices, way of life, and commitments, looking from “outside” yourself. Try to discern what the outcomes — whether successes or failures — reveal to you about your inner self. Look for where there seems to be resonance or not. That is, don’t try to “find” your purpose by tweaking or fine-tuning what you’ve been doing in your work, relationships, or anything else. Instead, let all of that teach you what it can. That is, look at what it tells you about your longings, your inner vision, and predilections that you might be trying to express through your outer life, even if the latter may be an incorrect vehicle.
• When you do feel a pull towards some purpose, activity or goal that you feel reflects your inner self, then pursue it fully and vigorously, and with great intent. Keep looking for the feedback your actions give you along the way. It doesn’t matter if your purpose is something more concrete or more spiritual. If you pursue it with minimal self-interest, with “obliquity,” you will learn from what happens if it’s the true path for you or not.
• Infuse all of your actions with a spirit of giving, of service; in effect, with love for what you’re engaging with. That includes all the people you interact with, as well. The more you consciously infuse your thoughts, emotions and behavior with positive, life-affirming energy – kindness, compassion, generosity, justice – you’re keeping your ego at bay and you’re able to see your true purpose with greater clarity.

Of course, this is hard, and you might encounter opposition from cultural pressures or others who have their own interests at stake. Keep in mind here something Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote:”

For more,  Why It’s So Hard to Find Your Life’s Purpose by Douglas LaBier on Huffington Post

I find it interesting that guidelines for finding your life purpose integrate service and supporting others. My personal and professional experience supports this concept. People who are committed to their life purpose often find their work combines their highest skills, life experience, and the interests they are most passionate about creatively to contribute in a meaningful way. I think the five ways to find your passion or life purpose listed below will be helpful to you.

“5 Ways To Find Your Passion or Life Purpose

1. Slow Down – Find Your Life Purpose

This may sound counterintuitive, but you need to slow down and get off the treadmill in order to find your passion. There may be clues all around you that are telling you what you should be doing, but when you’re too busy, it’s hard to see them. It’s in those moments of silence that you’re able to really become more aware of what inspires you.

I know it’s not always easy to slow down, but even a couple of lifestyle changes—things like getting plenty of rest, moving your body, and even practicing a mindfulness technique like meditation—can make all the difference in connecting with your passion. When you take time to nurture your mind and body, you’ll feel more energized and creatively inspired.

2. Be Your Own Life Detective – Find Your Life Purpose

So you’ve started to slow down and take some time for yourself. Now what?

Take some time to notice the things in your life that bring you the most joy. What activities energize you when you do them? Is it writing? Talking to people? Working on a design project? Being with kids? Over the next week, grab a journal and record how you feel as you’re going through your day-to-day activities, as these activities can be big clues into what your passions are. And don’t dismiss any activities—if you get jazzed up when you color coordinate your closet or design one-of-a-kind pet accessories, that counts.

Another great exercise is to walk into a bookstore and see where you end up. Do you gravitate to the cooking section? Self-help? Sports? Find topics that interest you and go dig deeper into the subject.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Explore – Find Your Life Purpose

Now that you’ve started to pay attention to which activities and interests make you feel most energized, keep doing more of them and stay away from those that drain you.

When I was figuring out what my passions were, I realized that I enjoyed yoga, dance, writing, and studying holistic health and personal growth. And as I started integrating more of those activities into my life, I was amazed at the amount of inspiration that followed.

Eventually, as you give yourself permission to go down these roads, you’ll start to narrow down your passions more and more, just by doing what feels best to you. For example, while exploring my interests, I enrolled in a Basic Photoshop class at a local design school—then quickly realized sitting behind a computer and designing was not for me. Later on I pursued my interest for holistic health by enrolling at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and that road led me to my calling.

Some interests will lead you to your passion while others won’t, but know that that nothing you do is a mistake because your actions are informing you of where you’re meant to go. The more you take action on your areas of interest, the more you’ll begin to discover your passions.

4. Reach Out to People – Find Your Life Purpose

As you’re going through these exercises, be sure to connect with people who are doing something you’re interested in—maybe it’s the nutritionist at your gym or the owner of the art gallery you stop by every day after work—and talk to them about their experience. I consulted with four different people who had graduated from my holistic health program before I took the plunge and enrolled. Another woman I know worked on the floor of a wine shop and reached out to several founders of wine shops before starting her own.

Ask them questions like, “What is your day-to-day like?” “What steps can I take to transition from where I am now to doing this full-time?” or “What are the things I need to consider before working in this industry?”—anything that might help you learn more about the field.

In addition, doing an internship or apprenticeship, even a few hours a week, is a great way to learn if you enjoy working in a particular field before committing to it. It will also give you a foot in the door when you’re looking for new jobs down the line.

5. Stay Open and Flexible – Find Your Life Purpose

Finally, know that when you follow your interests, they could lead you on a different path than you ever expected. So, it’s important to stay open and flexible without any attachment to where you’ll end up. A woman I know left her stable financial analyst job to become a journalist at a financial publication and follow her passion for writing. Two years later, she left there to start her own online publication after gaining chops as a journalist.

You have no idea where your interests will lead you if you keep moving toward what feels good to you—but you can be sure you’ll be guided to where you need to be.

And once you’ve found what you love? Well, then you can begin to figure out how to turn it into your reality.”  Excerpt form The Muse by Eva Werk

Slowing down and being your own life detective seems critical in identifying your life purpose. Reaching out to people we know and don’t know can offer us new and fascinating perspectives. I was grateful that the career counselor I worked with was patient and creative. He offered me suggestions and direction, but it was up to me to do the legwork, be responsible for my career, and fulfill my life purpose.

I am interested in hearing about your experiences and obstacles in finding and following your life purpose. If I can support your need to fulfill your life purpose and create meaningful work in your life, please do not hesitate to contact me immediately.

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Michael Swerdloff

Providence Holistic Counseling Services