Regardless of your political ideology, these last few weeks and years have been incredibly triggering for many people, especially women. Sexual trauma triggers can be devastating and debilitating for many people. The responses to sexual trauma triggers can confuse the person experiencing them and those around them. Understanding the source of the sexual trauma triggers can help us find safety and the ability to deal with what we are experiencing. Most importantly, you do not have to experience sexual trauma triggers alone.
Sexual Trauma Triggers and Memories
“The Crisis Text Line, which provides crisis intervention, saw the numbers of people reaching out with stories of sexual abuse double in October 2017, when the #MeToo movement began. The organization says it’s the highest number of sexual abuse reports they have seen since the since the 2016 election.
Such responses are common when sexual assault is in the news, said Nancy Glass, associate director for the Johns Hopkins Center for Global Health.
“When people hear others telling their stories, it can ‘trigger’ them, it can bring back memories of their own experiences, even if it’s from a long time ago,” Glass said.
The result can be surprisingly physical. The chemicals and hormones released in the body during a traumatic experience can also be released when the experience is remembered, Glass said. They are like symptoms.
“Your adrenaline is going. Your body is producing an inflammatory response. It can cause you to feel anxious, sick to your stomach, get headaches,” Glass said. “It has different reactions to different people.”
Glass says she has worked with survivors of sexual assault for 25 years, and the hearings brought to memory the many horrific stories she had heard throughout her career in public health.
Like combat veterans, sexual assault victims can suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. The triggering of a victim’s PTSD occurs when they are prompted to remember or relive the trauma, whether by a car backfiring or a fraught sexual assault hearing on Capitol Hill.””
Rayellen Kishbach, a friend and founder of GraceWorks, offers these three supportive recommendations for those experiencing sexual trauma triggers.
“Outside of the metrics and the data, the researchers learned that what helped them survive and thrive after the abuse was over were these 3 big and simple things:
Someone listened to them and believed them.
They had formal and informal support beyond their own emotional resources
And, spirituality was often a key support”
Sexual trauma triggers can create a sense of not wanting to trust anyone, especially those who may express similar attributes as the person(s) who violated us initially, mostly men. This can make it hard to engage in conversation or any interactions with men. We may feel like we can’t leave our homes due to fear and anxiety. This is a normal response to sexual trauma triggers. I invite you not to let anyone else tell you what you “should be feeling or experiencing”. We each heal or experience trauma differently. We have many similar experiences, and those are unique to our situation as survivors.
These are some possible feelings, emotions, and challenges you may be experiencing: fatigue, sleeplessness, nightmares, anger, depression, anxiety, sadness, loss, desperation, disorientation, confusion, frustration, distance, lack of connection, disinterest, loneliness, lack of energy, need to stay in bed, need for stimulation and distraction, self-destruction, self-loathing, hopelessness, and the list goes on. There is no one “right” way to heal and recover from sexual trauma or one “right” way to feel.
Sexual Trauma Triggers and Coping While Triggered
Here are some suggestions that may help in the immediate and long-term healing process. Some involve the exchange of money. If you are not able to spend the money at this time, I invite you to contact the practitioner directly and see if they are able to offer a reduced rate, defer payment or barter.
Water – Drink it bath in it, shower in it and swim in it.
Sharing – Sharing our experiences and feelings with someone who will listen without judgement and offer support . This can be a friend, family member, mentor, group member, sponsor, counselor, old friend, therapist, social worker, clergy, coach, spiritual advisor, teacher, or anyone who you feel safe with.
Nature – I know it can be hard to motivate yourself to get out, but it reminds us of who we are and what we are a part of, as well as how much beauty and magic in the world.
Bodywork – If you feel safe to let someone work with your body to help ground and realign our system, it can be beneficial on many levels. This can be a Massage, Cranio-Sacral, Reiki, Thai Massage, Reflexology, Shiatsu and many other forms.
Have fun! This requires more effort than the other suggestions and a willingness to try. It really is worth it even if you don’t have very much fun. Fun activities can give us an opportunity to break the mental cycle we may feel trapped in, even if just for a little while. We really do need breaks from our stuff to heal.
Exercise – This can include a walk, a bike ride, swimming, dancing, Tai Qi, Qi Gong, Yoga, playing games with kids, sports and good old-fashioned going to the gym.
Eat! We need food. Lack of nutrition can further any challenges or feelings we are experiencing. Fruits, vegetables, protein – blah, blah, blah. I know you have heard this many times before but it is true. So is the need to feed other parts of us with our personal favorite form of fun food. Lately, for reasons I don’t know since I am not really a sugar person, it has been Tate’s Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookies for me! Nourishment comes in many forms.
Reflection – Writing, journaling, meditation, breathing, chanting and/or whatever methods work for you.
Create – Let some of the thoughts and emotions in your head, body and heart run free, or at least not stay stuck inside. The medium is not important, creating is. Anything from crayons to pastels to watercolors to charcoal and pens and …. The finished product is not what we want to focus on. Sometimes not focusing on what we produce and just getting out-of-the-way and letting ourselves create a feeling, mood or texture can be awesome and healing.
Music – Crank it up or let it be background, ambient sound. Music can be deep healing and fun. Listening, playing, singing, dancing, drumming, writing or just a way to create a more peaceful environment. Music is a trusted friend.
Entertainment – Music, TV, Movies, Books, Theatre, Comedy. We need to give our minds and hearts a rest now and then.
Respect Yourself – We may feel tempted to numb our feelings and emotions through any of a long list of stimulants and “escapes” including drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn, shopping, binge eating, etc.. I encourage you to not fall for this trap when possible. This is not a judgment, just a recommendation to respect yourself and your body. Immediate gratification can often come with a “price tag”.
Rest – Sometimes we need to just stay in bed a little longer or a nap in the middle of a day. Recovery can be exhausting at and we need to replenish and rejuvenate our resources to heal.
Love and Connection – Allowing ourselves to be loved and cared for by others can be amazing in its ability to strengthen, heal and inspire us. The Beatles may not have been entirely correct but Love matters!
Gentleness – Please be gentle with yourself. This can be hard, since many of us feel like we have somehow been responsible for our own trauma. We do our best to listen to our bodies when they tell us to rest, our hearts when they tell us to love and be loved, and our mind when it tells us we are needing help and support. Please be gentle with yourself and ask for help, in whatever shape or forms feels right to you, when you need it.
Sexual Trauma Triggers – The Myth Of Trauma As An Event
“The myth of trauma is that we can heal it entirely through testimony—that the story of ‘what happened’ is enough to heal us. We praise people who come forward and write and tell their stories of trauma—and yet we never really hear the stories that come after the testimony of trauma—the stories of what it takes to heal.
The problem is that most trauma is not just a single entity: Most trauma is really three forms of trauma. The first form of trauma is ‘what happened’ – the trauma you remember, the testimony we are hearing right now. This is what most people think of as the trauma. But trauma is much bigger than that. The second form of trauma are the protections you used to survive the trauma—the ways you changed yourself—your personality, your beliefs, your behavior– to protect yourself from ever feeling that helpless, afraid or ashamed again. These protections helped you survive, but they often also rob you of the life you want, the relationships that could sustain you, the joy in life that may be around you but you can’t take in. And the last form of trauma is the most invisible: it is what didn’t happen. It is the growth, development, experiences that didn’t happen while the trauma and aftermath were occurring. It is what was missed. It is what wasn’t learned.
The reason our culture is so bad at healing trauma is that we stop with the first form of trauma—we stop with the story and the testimony. And we need to help people stay in the healing process long enough to really look at the protections they used to survive and really begin to sort what didn’t happen and begin to bring some of those experiences into their lives.
So yes, to all of you survivors out there. It did happen. You can say it out loud and we will believe you. And yes, when you say it and feel it, it will feel like the wreckage of your strong defenses are laying all around you. Unintegration is hard, but it is important. It allows you to see what was hurt. It allows you to see that you are still standing despite that. It allows you to begin to rebuild from a new place.
And to all survivors I say this: No one heals alone. If you are telling your story for the first time or the fiftieth time I encourage you to find a healing relationship. Most trauma is relational trauma, and relational trauma needs to be healed in relationship. I want you to not just tell your story, I want you to heal from the trauma. I want you to heal because you will get to live in your life and your relationships in a bigger and more joyful way. But selfishly I also want you to heal from trauma because the power of healing reaches way beyond you—you can inspire and support and stand firm in the world in ways you can’t imagine and we desperately need. It did happen, and we all need to heal from it.”
We all deal with and heal from sexual trauma triggers in our own way. Most experts and my personal and professional experience demonstrate that we can’t do it alone, and no one can do it for us. Please let me know if I can support you in any way.
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