15 results for tag: Authentic Self
You Look Weird Dancing Like That
I'm this guy. I am the weird guy on the dance floor, at Yoga class, and on the beach. I swim and play in the waves like a twelve-year-old. I am (mostly) comfortable in my skin and with people thinking I am weird. I am aware that most people do not have that experience when people think or say they are weird. Many people feel like being "weird" is a criticism, insult, or put down, and it is certainly not a compliment. I understand that when someone tells you they think you are weird, it may create doubt or a sense of not belonging or being "normal".
It was not always like this for me. I was actually a DJ for decades in clubs and events that wouldn't ...
18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors
There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors since we have diverse training, backgrounds, and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no," protecting yourself, and letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well.
My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list: "Feelings are not facts." I wish we could all integrate this nugget of wisdom into our lives!
... Sexy Weakness – The Sexual Power of Emotional Vulnerability
Sexy weakness? What on earth is that? As a man, like millions of other men, I was taught that being vulnerable was bad and a sign of being weak. I was taught women want a man who is strong, stable, and "tough," whatever the heck that means. I was taught that you keep your emotions in check and never let anyone see who you really are. Like never. It has taken me decades to unlearn some of this programming. Parts of it were easy and simple to leave behind; other elements took longer and needed more attention and intention. More importantly, women did not feel safe around me because I didn't feel safe around me or my thoughts. I typically attracted ...
Self-Doubt & The Big Question Mark
I am fascinated by how many strong, courageous, and successful people have layers upon layers of self-doubt. Self-doubt creeps into almost every nook and cranny of their being. When others see them as bright, amazing, and enjoyable, they see themselves as stupid, mediocre, and a burden. This is where self-doubt interrupts the ability to achieve our internal and external dreams and aspirations.
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... Self-Sabotage – I Am Willing To Do Anything… But That
It is very common for clients whom I work with when asked what they are willing to do to grow or improve their situation, to offer a very specific and inspiring response. "I am willing to do anything and everything to make things better!" A part of me gets really excited about their enthusiastic reply. My excitement and optimism still exist after 25 years of this kind of work, knowing that we are about to embark on the first stage of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can, at times, be really obvious and, at others, very deceptive and tricky.
I take a deep breath and ask them, "Are you willing to do____?" Their enthusiasm and conviction, which were on full display just a moment earlier, disappear. Some combination of resentment, bitterness, fear, and/or anger replaces the enthusiasm. Self-sabotage has now planted its roots and is ready to dig in to do anything and everything except for "that."
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... We Can Still Be Crazy – Pema Chodron
... Why Nice Guys Stay Single – So Do Bad Boys
When I first saw the heading "Why Nice Guys Stay Single", I rolled my eyes; at least I tried. I have never perfected eye-rolling. I thought to myself, "Another article written by a bitter, single woman who likes bad boys who treat her like shit". I was completely wrong. I have no idea if Kathryn Hogan is single, but she is definitely not bitter and incredibly perceptive.
Here is a quote from this article; if this does not move you, there is no need to read further.
"What women—evolved, mature, powerful women—actually need is a man who embodies the divinity of manhood. This may sound mystical, but it’s not. Every man is sacred, can touch the sacred masculine within him, can be a man who stands in compassion, loyalty, and honor, who cares enough to realize that only his true, unfiltered presence is good enough for this world. A man with a powerful heart, who can hold a woman in his presence, who can weather her emotional storms, who is nourished by being near her, and sees her divinity, and gives endlessly of himself."This article explores why being a nice guy will only get you so far. You must dive deeper into yourself and express everything that makes you. The real you. The authentic you. Nice guys are men who are hiding from themselves and the women they wish to connect with and love. No more Mr. Nice Guy (see Alice Cooper song below for kicks).
