5 results for tag: Break Old Patterns
Brought Back to Life By A Dance Class
What do we need to be brought back to life? We all get stuck from time to time. The "sparkplug" differs from person to person and depends on where we are in our lives and the circumstances we are experiencing.
"I don’t have a lot of wisdom to offer, but I do know that showing up was an act of self-care." Daphnée...
How Iceland Got Teens to Say No to Drugs – The Icelandic Model
I become excited and inspired when I see concepts, ideas, and methods that I use in my work validated by international scientists and authors. The two articles that I have included excerpts from offer alternative ideas about the use and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. From my experience, combining these two perspectives is the core of my work, supporting and facilitating shifting patterns, behaviors, obsessions, and addictions.
I typically integrate these three principles/methods for shifting unwanted patterns and behaviors.
- Exercises supporting the discovery and understanding of our patterns and thinking.
- Explore what we feel connected to, or the lack of connection, to people, animals, friends, family, and our environment. Create a plan to improve and expand our connections. (Read Johann Hari's views on addiction and connection at the bottom of this post.).
- Brainstorm interests, passions, and activities that we have either enjoyed in our past or present or would like to explore, including creative expressions, physical activity, opportunities to connect with the natural world, or anything that inspires or stimulates us. We follow the brainstorming process by implementing some of these interests and activities into our lives before or during launching into facilitating the shift in the unwanted behaviors. In short, let's find out what will inspire and stimulate you to replace the patterns, behaviors, and addictions that are problematic. (This parallels the process Harvey Milkman researched in the U.S. and implemented in Iceland, discussed in the main article focusing on teens and addiction.)
Self-Sabotage – I Am Willing To Do Anything… But That
It is very common for clients whom I work with when asked what they are willing to do to grow or improve their situation, to offer a very specific and inspiring response. "I am willing to do anything and everything to make things better!" A part of me gets really excited about their enthusiastic reply. My excitement and optimism still exist after 25 years of this kind of work, knowing that we are about to embark on the first stage of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can, at times, be really obvious and, at others, very deceptive and tricky.
I take a deep breath and ask them, "Are you willing to do____?" Their enthusiasm and conviction, which were on full display just a moment earlier, disappear. Some combination of resentment, bitterness, fear, and/or anger replaces the enthusiasm. Self-sabotage has now planted its roots and is ready to dig in to do anything and everything except for "that."
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... Look At Me: Why Attention-Seeking Is The Defining Need of Our Times
Attention: who doesn't appreciate being attended to and cared for in some shape or form? Yes, some of us shy away from receiving public attention or attention from folks we do not know yet. We do not all appreciate the same kinds of attention, but we still do want attention. Some of us struggle with finding ways to get attention in the physical world, so we do so through social media. For many, it is the reverse; they abhor social media attention and thrive in the physical and social world. Attention-seeking is a different form of acquiring attention. Attention-seeking is a deliberate attempt to direct attention to the self. Some attention-seeking behaviors are healthy and positive, while others are destructive and create unhealthy habits and relationships.
The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship
A few years back, I wrote a piece for Providence Life Coach Dating Success Series - Conscious Coupling . When I saw the article, which is copied below, The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship, I thought it was time to add some new content to this conversation on creating positive, lasting relationships. I really appreciate what Shelly Bullard has written, especially the first quality; "The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship - growth comes first." This is so important and often overlooked. We are so desperate to make relationships last that we forget that our personal and collective growth as people is an even greater goal. If we grow, our relationship grows; it is inevitable. Many people grow to "save" the relationship. This is courageous, but it is also an end to a means. We need to grow whether the relationship continues or not.
