2 results for tag: Building Walls
Self-Sabotage – I Am Willing To Do Anything… But That
It is very common for clients whom I work with when asked what they are willing to do to grow or improve their situation, to offer a very specific and inspiring response. "I am willing to do anything and everything to make things better!" A part of me gets really excited about their enthusiastic reply. My excitement and optimism still exist after 25 years of this kind of work, knowing that we are about to embark on the first stage of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can, at times, be really obvious and, at others, very deceptive and tricky.
I take a deep breath and ask them, "Are you willing to do____?" Their enthusiasm and conviction, which were on full display just a moment earlier, disappear. Some combination of resentment, bitterness, fear, and/or anger replaces the enthusiasm. Self-sabotage has now planted its roots and is ready to dig in to do anything and everything except for "that."
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... Building Bridges or Building Walls
In relationships, we typically either build bridges or walls. When we build bridges, we work towards connection, intimacy, and safety. In contrast, when we build walls, we move towards distance, isolation, discomfort, and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or walls.
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