34 results for tag: Connection
Mindful Sex – A Solution To Unhappy Sex Lives
Mindful Sex. The words even sound funny together. Sex, by its nature, is mindful enough, in theory. Why do we need mindful sex, and what is mindful sex?
It is easy to decide, "This is the thing I need to do to fix my relationships and sex life". This is not one of those kinds of solutions, assuming such a thing exists. Mindful sex can be a gateway towards a more fulfilling and intimate experience of making love and intimacy. Mindful sex does not replace destructive, unfulfilling old habits or patterns. Mindful sex helps create new ones and revitalize those that were once joyful and alive! We still have to do our work.
Mindfulness and being present have become serious buzzwords in recent years. For those of us who have practiced these skills and arts for decades, it can sometimes feel like they are the latest in a long line of techniques in "microwave recovery" for whatever ails us. Here is the fascinating part: it's true and has been for thousands of years! The packaging and terminology have changed, but meditation, breathing, paying attention, and being where we are right now are the foundations of most major psychological, religious, and spiritual traditions. Ironically, people often label them as New Age practices, when in reality, they are older than "traditional" methods that people are finding are not as effective for us in today's world. Mindful sex is an extension of these practices. Again, there is nothing "new" to mindful sex. We have just given it a fancy, trendy name. It is like what we used to call tropical rainforests "jungles". There was minimal interest in preserving jungles, but tropical rainforests create an image that people want to support. We can think of mindful sex as undistracted sex while fully immersed in the experience. Who doesn't want deep, meaningful sexual and intimate experiences?
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... A Cure for Loneliness – How To Make Connects That Count
I am not aware of anyone who has not experienced loneliness at some point in their lives. Everyone experiences loneliness or isolation. For many, it is an ongoing struggle. People often assume that others whose friends and/or family always surround them do not experience loneliness. This assumption needs to be corrected. We can experience loneliness no matter how many people are in our lives; loneliness is not an exclusive club for those who are shy, awkward, or introverted. Loneliness can affect anyone, even "The Cool People".
Before we get to the article A Cure For Loneliness, here is a short video with Johann Hari. He is a controversial author, journalist, and explorer of life and people. He has great ideas, even if he is only sometimes on target about why things are how they are. You will enjoy his talk on loneliness. It is less than four minutes.
https://youtu.be/bC2Na1E3iVg
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Tantra Is NOT Love – Tantra And Sacred Sex
This is a beautifully written essay on Tantra. I have some experience with Tantra, but I am certainly not a teacher or expert. I have struggled with some Tantra practitioners assuming Tantra and Sacred Love are the same. This has not felt true to me. This heartfelt dive into the essence of Tantra, Sacred Sex, and Tantra is what I have experienced without having the correct words or mastery to express it accurately.
... Tich Nhat Hahn Interview with Oprah Winfrey
This is a beautiful Tich Nhat Hahn Interview with Oprah Winfrey. Tich Nhat Hahn is one of the great Teachers of our time. For those who do not know of him, Tich Nhat Hahn has been nominated for the Nobel Prize for Peace and an anti-war activist during the Vietnam War, which is his native land. He has taught me many things about meditation and mindfulness. He has several monastic communities around the world, with the head Temple named Plum Village in Southeast France. Martin Luther King Jr. called Tich That Hahn, "an apostle of peace and nonviolence".
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... Rules For Fair Fighting In Relationships
Rules for fair fighting. It sounds like an oxymoron. If you take a minute to reflect, most of us suck when it comes to arguing and fighting with the people we love. I was not talking about your partner; I'm talking about you. Me too. Of all the things that we are taught by our families, friends, schools, and culture, children are rarely well-trained in how to manage conflict in a meaningful and productive way. Let's explore one of the many sets of rules for fair fighting in relationships together.
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... Why Nice Guys Stay Single – So Do Bad Boys
When I first saw the heading "Why Nice Guys Stay Single", I rolled my eyes; at least I tried. I have never perfected eye-rolling. I thought to myself, "Another article written by a bitter, single woman who likes bad boys who treat her like shit". I was completely wrong. I have no idea if Kathryn Hogan is single, but she is definitely not bitter and incredibly perceptive.
Here is a quote from this article; if this does not move you, there is no need to read further.
"What women—evolved, mature, powerful women—actually need is a man who embodies the divinity of manhood. This may sound mystical, but it’s not. Every man is sacred, can touch the sacred masculine within him, can be a man who stands in compassion, loyalty, and honor, who cares enough to realize that only his true, unfiltered presence is good enough for this world. A man with a powerful heart, who can hold a woman in his presence, who can weather her emotional storms, who is nourished by being near her, and sees her divinity, and gives endlessly of himself."This article explores why being a nice guy will only get you so far. You must dive deeper into yourself and express everything that makes you. The real you. The authentic you. Nice guys are men who are hiding from themselves and the women they wish to connect with and love. No more Mr. Nice Guy (see Alice Cooper song below for kicks).
Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships and The Shadow
I first started becoming aware of spiritual bypassing a few years ago. My eyes opened wide as I was reading the page in front of me. "A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks" John Welwood & Tina Fossella. This was it! This was the thing I had been aware of for years in myself and others that I had not known what it was or how to describe it! I was so excited that there really was such a "thing," and it had a name.
I have cut out parts of the article below, but most of the content on spiritual bypassing is included.
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Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
