66 results for tag: Couples Counseling


The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late

I have heard the statement "The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late" much too often. This is also true for people who are not married or even a couple. We may learn too late in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or anybody. In this case, "The Marriage Lesson" is a lesson for all relationships! The awareness that small things are significant in our relationships is valuable for us all. If someone repeatedly shares something that you are doing or not doing that brings up anger, pain, sadness, fear, betrayal, rejection, flooding, or any other strong emotion that creates distance, I encourage you to listen. This is especially ...

What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy? A Beginners Guide

What is ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy, and what is not ethical non-monogamy? Ethical non-monogamy is when a couple mutually decides to add other lovers or romantic or sexual partners to their existing relationship. I want to be clear: ethical non-monogamy is NOT having an affair or one-night stand(s) without having your partner's consent and support IN ADVANCE. Since the author of the article below explores ethical non-monogamy, I will primarily focus on what it is not. Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) Is Not: Being attracted to someone else and pressuring or manipulating your partner into you being with someone else for your ...

Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone. Be Afraid of Being In A Bad Relationship

Being alone. One of the greatest fears many people experience. Those in difficult and/or toxic relationships debate between being alone and being in a bad relationship often, even daily. Being alone can be a terrifying fear that can create desperation and self-destruction.

How do we know when a relationship has reached the point where being alone is less challenging than being present?...


18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors

There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors since we have diverse training, backgrounds, and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no," protecting yourself, and letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well. My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list: "Feelings are not facts." I wish we could all integrate this nugget of wisdom into our lives!
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The Future Of Mental Health Treatment

I think most people would agree that the mental health system is not effectively serving our communities. Individuals can be treated as a "problem" or "defective/broken". Couples are often seen as failures. Families, especially parents, get judged and belittled. Where is the compassion or understanding? Why are most therapists, clinicians, and counselors more concerned about charging a rate that "respects their self-value" than considering their client's ability to receive services without adding undo stress due to prohibitive costs or not even being able to afford the fees at all? Then there is the whole insurance industry!!!
Holistic counselors, therapists, social workers, and psychologists offer respite from the mainstream mental health system, and we still often do not meet the needs of our clients. There are so many variables that contribute to mental and emotional challenges, including diet, sleep/rest, exercise, "the gut", the nervous system, trauma(s), finances, work, school, relationships, environment, sensory issues, childhood attachments or lack of attachments, etc. We share so many common characteristic and experiences as humans but our specific journeys are incredibly complex and unique, therefore, treatments needs to be unique to the individual, couple or family....

The 3 Core Skills Every Person Needs for Romantic Competence

Romantic competence is not a phrase that has yet reached mainstream culture, but I suspect it will soon enough. Romantic competence includes three core skills: insight, mutuality, and emotional regulation. These skills affect all our relationships, not just romantic relationships. I have reflected on the three skills of romantic competence, wanting to discern if any of the three are necessary. I feel clear that they are all valuable and essential to improving our relationships, especially romantic relationships. I am interested in what you learn from this fascinating article about the work of  Joanne Davila on romantic competence! ...

Great Relationships Are Not Accidents

Great relationships are not accidents. It sounds so simple and obvious that it almost feels like it cannot actually be true. I can almost see a pink and purple bumper sticker on an old Volkswagen Bug written in cute letters. How can something as complicated as relationships be so simple, you ask? Great question! The answer to great relationships is equally simple and obvious: trust. Simple and obvious, yes, easy, not so much. When we speak about trust, most people nod their heads in agreement. If we take a closer look at what trust entails, most of us want to curl up in a little ball under the covers....

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