76 results for tag: Dating and Relationships
Being Better Humans Support Group
We have an amazing Support Group for Everyone! We have been meeting every other Monday on Zoom! Come join the circle!
What are we doing?
We are a group of people discussing their honest feelings on relationships, drugs, love, sex, money, and work. We’ll pick a topic, trade stories, have a moderated discussion, and maybe scream, cry, or yell (if needed). We’ll dive in deep and not let fear keep us from expressing who we really are. We’ll explore what makes us amazing and far from amazing, where we need to grow and what gets in the way of growing, how to trust ourselves and others and what obstacles get in the way of trust. We’ll find what environments support our safety, and how to set boundaries in those that don’t. Most importantly, we’ll just practice being our authentic selves. We may include meditation, movement and other practices designed to create clarity, presence and truth. What we do will be guided by what shows up at every session. We will have assignments between sessions to reflect more deeply and practice whatever we worked on together.
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Conflict Resolution Workshop – Individuals & Couples!
Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here.
We all come into this life with stuff to unpack and learn. Some of us have entered life with more significant challenges than others. It can be said that ALL OF US have endured trauma in one form or another. This can mean being neglected as children, being abused as a child, teen or adult, military, sexual assault and rape, alcoholism and drug addiction, poverty, and racial and cultural issues, just to name a few forms of trauma. We all experience these challenges in different ways. It has become widespread for self-help and pop psychology "gurus" to present pathology as a singular, logical pattern that explains life experiences through a lens that, in all cases, "this means that" and all people experience "this and that" the same. It is false and damaging to the millions of people who read or hear these claims and wonder why it is not valid for them. We have our shared experiences but in our own unique way. That is one of the joys of being human!
No two people experience trauma the same, but there are enough common traits to share and learn from each other and gain support and camaraderie. I can learn from you and vice-versa. I remember when my cousin returned from Vietnam, he would not discuss what happened to anyone. Then, one day, a friend of his who was also a Vietnam vet was over. He talked and talked about what he saw and did for hours. We were all surprised after not hearing him speak about it for more than a paragraph after being home for several years. The same applies to people participating in Twelve-Step or cancer survivor groups. Shared experiences help us feel like we belong and we are not alone. This is important in moving forward through traumatic experiences.
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Hormones In Relationships – Are You a ‘Testosterone’ or a ‘Dopamine?’
We are all affected by hormones in relationships. I am fascinated by this work and its potential in understanding relationship choices and exploring the impact of hormones on relationships. How does this influence our compatibility or lack thereof? I appreciate there are four distinct profile types, dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen, in no particular order. The fact that they move beyond the limitations of the two profile types of estrogen and testosterone feels more honest and accurate than defining folks by just the two hormones and dismissing the effects of dopamine and serotonin. Hormones in relationships are a real thing, ...
Anger A Secondary Emotion – What Are We Protecting?
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here.
Many years ago, the psychologist who turned my life around once told me, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger. The primary emotion is typically fear, sometimes sadness or pain." Of course, I became even angrier when she said this! I remember thinking, "Fear, I am not scared of anything. I'm pissed off, not scared!" Her words haunted me. In the following weeks and months, every time I became angry, I often heard her in the back of my head whispering, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger." Notice how the fear part was left out of my process? Eventually, the part about fear also made its way into my process. That is when the shift began for me.
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Can You Go Crazy from Lack Of Touch? Life of the Skin-Hungry
We all need touch. We may feel like we don't, but we do. Even those among us who have suffered physical trauma from the hands of others need touch. For some people, touch may come with some challenges; this does not mean it is less important; it needs some navigating for touch to be a positive experience.
What happens when we do not receive enough physical touch? The answer varies from person to person, but we all suffer from feeling "untouchable" or untouched. This may express itself as depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, aggression, anger, sadness, or many forms of physical or emotional pain. The key is to learn what means of touch and physical affection are most supportive to you and when.
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Change Is Possible – Change Really Is Possible
I am often asked a question that baffles me, "Can people REALLY change?". I am baffled because it astounds me that people do not recognize how we are all changing in large and small ways all the time. However, I do relate to the experience of feeling hopeless that I cannot change enough to enjoy life. This I understand. I can still recall clearly that night in October of 1989 when, for a moment, I felt life was not worth living. An image flashed across my mind of driving my car into my then-girlfriend, who was standing right in front of me, followed by me crashing into the large oak tree across the street. It was clear in my mind. We were arguing in the street outside of her house in front of my car. At that moment, it made complete sense to me. I felt like there was no other viable option.
At the time, I was six months clean and sober in so-called recovery; things did not feel better. In fact, they felt worse. I did not believe I could change. I did not believe life could or would improve. I did not believe I was capable of rigorous honesty as the A.A. Preamble stated; "Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty." I believed that I was not capable of being honest with myself; therefore, I could not recover. I was wrong.
A man who was forty years sober then told me if I wanted to change, I needed to tie my shoes differently. That was the beginning. All the successes I have enjoyed since that night began with one small choice. This is not some cute fable or a new-age platitude. This is my real-life experience of change and growth.
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... Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
