13 results for tag: Disconnection

Isolation in the Digital Era: The Power of Human Relationships

We are all aware of the potential costs of isolation—at least, we were before we became entrenched in digital connections. Human connections are suffering as more people feel increased isolation. I look forward to your comments and experiences on isolation from the article below posted on The Gottman Institute....

What Are We Fighting For?

What are we fighting for or about? We all need to ask ourselves this question when we conflict with another person, especially a partner or spouse. As a couples and relationship counselor, whenever a couple shares with me about a "fight" they had recently, I often ask them after they have spoken in great detail how their partner was at fault and what they did wrong, "What was the fight about?". Both people start repeating what the other person said and did wrong and how they did it right. The focus is generally on the content rather than what the fight was about....

Are You Really Being Accountable?

In the last handful of years, there has been an increased focus on accountability and taking responsibility for our actions. I have really appreciated the energy and attention to wanting to do and be better, primarily birthed by Gen Z and Millennials. It’s about time! But are we truly being accountable, or are we just telling people what we’ve done wrong and why we did it? I invite you to read the full article on being accountable, including the steps to cleaning up mistakes here: Are you really being accountable? Being responsible and accountable is about changing our behaviors, and the patterns that create them. It’s not about ...

Porn Addiction, Loneliness and Connection

Porn addiction is increasing at a rapid pace. We know that access to online porn continues to create loneliness, disconnection, and porn addiction. But is porn the actual problem? Again, we come back to Johann Hari's findings. His research and personal experiences, as well as my own, support the theory that addictions often lack meaningful connection(s). This applies to porn addiction as well. The work we do in recovery from porn addiction includes focusing on creating new connections and strengthening those already existing. These connections and forming new habits can begin the process of feeling safe and a sense of belonging, all foundations of a sustainable recovery....

As Friendships Grow Closer – Jeff Brown

I have been reflecting on this Jeff Brown quote on friendships lately. We tend to focus our efforts towards relationships on our romantic/intimate partnerships and family. But what about friendships? What if we carried the same intention and effort with our main friendships, or "friendship pods"? I am incredibly grateful for my core group of friends and how impactful our love, support, and collective commitment are and have been in my life, especially during the height of the pandemic. I am inspired continuously by our willingness as individuals and as a group to walk towards challenges, not away. "As friendships grow closer, conflict be...

Addiction Is Not The Drugs, It’s The ACEs

Addiction Is Not The Drugs, It's The ACEs. As we learn more and more about addiction, its causes, and recovery, it is not what we thought it was, or at least it is not only what we thought it was. We now know that many addicts experienced trauma(s) and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), adolescent trauma, or multiple traumas resulting in PTSD or complex PTSD (cPTSD). Thanks to the research and work by Johann Hari, we discovered another clue to the cause of addiction, a lack of connection. We will continue to learn and develop better and more holistic treatment and recovery for addicts and alcoholics. This particular article focuses predominantly on addiction to drugs and alcohol, but it mostly definitely applies to the full spectrum of addictions. Many of us have experienced ACEs, and much has been documented about the repercussions throughout life. But what about the relationship between ACEs and addiction? Is what we call addiction just a way of creating comfort and the illusion of safety through repeated actions to relieve the symptoms of ACEs?What if you felt safe and comfortable in your mind, body, and spirit? Do you think you would still need to chase the feeling of numbness/comfort through obsessive behaviors? What if we learned that we have been "treating a stomach ache with an aspirin" all these years? What if we knew definitively that addiction is not the drugs, but something deep inside us, what would shift in you?...

This Sculpture Shows The Inner Child In Us – Love

Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here. Buy Your Copy Now!                     We all have a little boy or little girl inside us, or both. Many people refer to this part of ourselves as the Inner Child. The term Inner Child gets used a lot these days, but what is the Inner Child? I like the description below. "The inner child lives in all of us; it is who we were before life happened to us. When the negative ...