10 results for tag: Green Flags In Relationships


Jealousy – Why Do We Get Jealous in Relationships?

Jealousy is one of the oddest emotions we experience as humans. It does not matter if there is a shred of evidence for the intensity of the feeling of jealousy. Our system does not differentiate between seeing your partner with another person and believing that your partner is with another person. This is similar to experiencing fear. Our nervous system responds the same way to the perception of fear and danger. Example: If we read a post on social media stating that an asteroid is about to hit Earth in our town, our nervous system will create hormones and thoughts to protect us. It turns out that someone posted this to annoy other people, and there was no threat. If an asteroid hit Earth in our town, the body and nervous system would still have responded the same way. Since jealousy is a form of fear, we have the same kind of experience. Example: If we feel threatened by our partner being contacted by their ex, we may feel a surge of jealousy, knowing they are connecting. Some people create all kinds of narratives inside their heads around why they are connecting and what it means to our relationship today. They may begin to distrust them and take steps to find evidence that there is a threat. And while doing so, we may view normal situations as evidence, confirmation bias. Now that we have "evidence" we may confront our partner and have trouble sleeping at night. And as the process escalates, our brain may create more "evidence" to confirm our fears. For some people, this can hijack everything else happening in their lives. Eventually, we find out that their ex was contacting them to let them know that a family member they were close to was killed in a car crash and the funeral service is Friday.
Based on the example above, what did we learn about jealousy?...

Three Common Mistakes Couples Make During Conflict

This is a simple and clear article on mistakes couples make during conflict. We all make mistakes in our relationships with everyone in our lives. Making mistakes is not a problem; choosing not to learn and grow is....

Save Your Relationship In 30 Seconds

A simple but effective way to save your relationship by Prince EA. The practice takes more than thirty seconds, but it is still quick and impactful. Practicing being present and breathing together can support opportunities for connection, trust, and safety. Touch can create even deeper connection and intimacy. I invite you to watch this short video on saving your relationship through healthy conflict resolution. ...

What Porcupines Can Teach Us About Making Love

Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here. Buy Your Copy Now! How do we learn about making love? A book, our parents, porn, movies, TV, social media? How about porcupines? This is a hilarious and insightful video and article about relationships, sex, and making love. I will not add anything; please enjoy the video and reflection on making love. What Porcupines Can Teach Us About Making Love (Contains mild sexual content) Dr. John Gottman is not only a groundbreaking relationship researcher ...

A New Study Reveals the Secret of Why Men Fall in Love

Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster To Reiki Master - healthy Masculinity - recovery - healing - self-help - trauma

Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here.

 

 

 

Why men fall in love. This is not as obvious as it seems on the surface.

When I was an adolescent boy, I was very confused about what it was that I liked about girls besides their physical appearance. There were girls who I thought were very pretty and attractive, but I had no desire to be with them. Conversely, there were girls that I was only mildly physically attracted to, but they were fun, intelligent, attractive, creative, and forces of nature, which turned me on in a completely different way. When attracted to them, physically, mentally, and emotionally, my brain didn't work well! I was flooded with emotions, feelings, and thoughts that I didn't know what to do with, and I felt shame about most of them. Looking back, I am aware that physical attraction was often the starting point. It didn't make sense to me because I did not have a "type" of girl that I was attracted to. I was confused by how I felt powerless about who I got excited about and who I didn't.

...

Fight Languages: How we Argue Is Key to Healthy Relationships

For those of you who have been reading my posts for a while, you are aware of The Rules For Fair Fighting in Relationships. Many of you know the Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, Ph.D., introduced. If not, you can learn about them easily here. What are the five love languages? The concept of fight languages having a name is new to me. I understood the principles but did not have a term to express them. How we fight with our partner(s), friends, family, and neighbors often defines the nature of our relationships. Understanding how your partner or friends/family argue is essential to creating thoughtful, loving resolutions, trust, and safety....

New Relationship Energy and Ethical Non-Monogamy

New relationship energy can be amazing, full of life and fresh air! Everything tastes and smells differently. Alarm clocks seem less annoying; laundry creates an opportunity to recall recent memories of what I wore when we did ______, and traffic jams offer space for a few quick texts to say, "Hello and I miss you". There is a part of most of us that wishes we could hold on to these moments forever. However, there can be obstacles that this magical period produces. The transition to a potential long-term relationship and all that often accompanies this shift can feel disappointing and "normal" all too quickly. The alarm clock and traffic return to their annoying selves. Staying up till 2:00 am talking is about whose turn it is to do the dishes or laundry instead of whose turn it is to receive a back rub or foot massage. It happens in a flash....

© Copyright 2016 Providence Holistic Counseling Services