11 results for tag: Intimacy
The Little Things That Make or Break Relationships
Life is often about the little things, especially in relationships. People want to know they matter and are important to us, and little things go a long way toward achieving that goal.
How do you respond when the people in your life make bids and connection attempts toward you at random times throughout your days?
Do you move closer or further in those moments? How does it feel when you move closer?
How does it feel when you move further?
I invite you to read this short article on the impact of little things on relationships....
What Porcupines Can Teach Us About Making Love
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here.
Buy Your Copy Now!
How do we learn about making love? A book, our parents, porn, movies, TV, social media? How about porcupines? This is a hilarious and insightful video and article about relationships, sex, and making love. I will not add anything; please enjoy the video and reflection on making love.
What Porcupines Can Teach Us About Making Love (Contains mild sexual content)
Dr. John Gottman is not only a groundbreaking relationship researcher ...
What Are We Fighting For?
What are we fighting for or about? We all need to ask ourselves this question when we conflict with another person, especially a partner or spouse.
As a couples and relationship counselor, whenever a couple shares with me about a "fight" they had recently, I often ask them after they have spoken in great detail how their partner was at fault and what they did wrong, "What was the fight about?". Both people start repeating what the other person said and did wrong and how they did it right. The focus is generally on the content rather than what the fight was about....
Co-Regulation and Healthy Relationships
Co-Regulation is when two people provide support for each other as a means of creating emotional safety, security, and connection. We need to connect with other people. It is that simple. There is a lot of information out there that convinces people that the goal is to be "self-sufficient" as if that is possible even if it were true. There never has been and never will be a time when being self-sufficient is best for us. Besides, we need food, shelter, the earth, sun and moon, water, air, clothing, beds, transportation, tools, machines, soil, trees, etc.; we need others whether we like it or not! We are not built to be self-sufficient, and that is a blessing!
We are wired to be connected with other people and possibly other species. Many of us were not taught or demonstrated how to do this in a healthy, safe manner. This makes the illusion of trying to be self-sufficient seductive and tempting. We want to find a more straightforward method than investing the time and energy required to build these safe and healthy relationships. We want an easy way out where it is unnecessary to lean into our fears of connection and intimacy.
Most folks are terrified of letting others in and allowing ourselves to be that vulnerable and exposed.So what do we do? We begin by creating inner safety and a sense of security that "I will be OK no matter what." This sense of safety and security provides the foundation for us to trust others because we know we are solid and secure. They may hurt us, but we will survive and, over time, thrive. Connection with others is what supports us in being independent....
Sex Therapy – Is It Time to See a Sex Therapist?
How do you know when it is time to see a Sex Therapist or Sex Counselor? First things first, how do you know IF you would benefit from seeing a Sex Therapy or Sex Counseling?
What is Sex Therapy and Sex Counseling?
Sex Therapy 101
"First, let’s talk about what this particular type of therapy is. Put very simply, the goal is to help you have a sex life that feels healthy and happy to you. Sex therapy recognizes that sexuality is an integral part of our lives and seeks to provide education and resources to support you. It can include things like identifying your beliefs or blockages around sex, helping you gain clarity on your goals for your sex life, providing accurate and shame-free information, teaching new sexual skills, improving your communication, or developing sexual self-confidence. Even though there still aren’t a ton of sex therapists out there, I think it’s really important to look around before picking who you want to work with. I strongly believe that the fit between the sex therapist and client is important. If you don’t feel connected to and trusting of who you work with, you’re not going to get much benefit out of the experience. Check out the websites of a few therapists in detail before booking an appointment, and don’t be afraid to end your working relationship if your gut’s telling you it doesn’t feel right." This excerpt is from What Happens In Sex Therapy? by VANESSA MARIN...
Are You Really Being Accountable?
In the last handful of years, there has been an increased focus on accountability and taking responsibility for our actions. I have really appreciated the energy and attention to wanting to do and be better, primarily birthed by Gen Z and Millennials. It’s about time!
But are we truly being accountable, or are we just telling people what we’ve done wrong and why we did it?
I invite you to read the full article on being accountable, including the steps to cleaning up mistakes here: Are you really being accountable?
Being responsible and accountable is about changing our behaviors, and the patterns that create them. It’s not about ...
