6 results for tag: Jealousy
Jealousy – Why Do We Get Jealous in Relationships?
Jealousy is one of the oddest emotions we experience as humans. It does not matter if there is a shred of evidence for the intensity of the feeling of jealousy. Our system does not differentiate between seeing your partner with another person and believing that your partner is with another person.
This is similar to experiencing fear. Our nervous system responds the same way to the perception of fear and danger.
Example: If we read a post on social media stating that an asteroid is about to hit Earth in our town, our nervous system will create hormones and thoughts to protect us. It turns out that someone posted this to annoy other people, and there was no threat. If an asteroid hit Earth in our town, the body and nervous system would still have responded the same way. Since jealousy is a form of fear, we have the same kind of experience.
Example: If we feel threatened by our partner being contacted by their ex, we may feel a surge of jealousy, knowing they are connecting. Some people create all kinds of narratives inside their heads around why they are connecting and what it means to our relationship today. They may begin to distrust them and take steps to find evidence that there is a threat. And while doing so, we may view normal situations as evidence, confirmation bias. Now that we have "evidence" we may confront our partner and have trouble sleeping at night. And as the process escalates, our brain may create more "evidence" to confirm our fears. For some people, this can hijack everything else happening in their lives. Eventually, we find out that their ex was contacting them to let them know that a family member they were close to was killed in a car crash and the funeral service is Friday.
Based on the example above, what did we learn about jealousy?... Anger A Secondary Emotion – What Are We Protecting?
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here.
Many years ago, the psychologist who turned my life around once told me, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger. The primary emotion is typically fear, sometimes sadness or pain." Of course, I became even angrier when she said this! I remember thinking, "Fear, I am not scared of anything. I'm pissed off, not scared!" Her words haunted me. In the following weeks and months, every time I became angry, I often heard her in the back of my head whispering, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger." Notice how the fear part was left out of my process? Eventually, the part about fear also made its way into my process. That is when the shift began for me.
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Cheaters On Cheating – Why Do Cheaters Cheat?
Have you ever been in a relationship with a cheater? Have you ever cheated on someone else? What do you consider cheating? Do you think cheating and cheaters are the same for men and women or Americans and Europeans? Superdrug Online Doctor surveyed over 2000 women and men cheaters and shared the results in Cheaters On Cheating. I have posted the entire article on cheaters and cheating here for you to read. I have included the references below; many of the sources cited are not the most reliable. I am sharing this with you to facilitate thought and conversation. I encourage you not to take this as scientific data, just content on cheaters and ...
Do Feelings Matter? Refections on Feelings in Our Lives
I was recently reading an article in Psychology Today, Life Lessons: 16 Truths to Embrace Now. Providence Holistic Counseling Services is listed in Psychology Today, so I receive a print copy monthly. I rarely read the articles because they feel like typical pop culture, with sensationalistic headlines and not a lot of solid content. I also find that the cover is typically an image of a young, white, attractive, thin female Photoshopped to look seductive with thick lipstick covering parted lips. An embarrassment to the industry. Now and then, I am wrong, and they dig a little deeper. The ideas of the various writers who contributed to this article are helpful and well-written. One of them referenced how the current generation of young adults places a great preference on what they feel and their emotions. This got me thinking. The question that came to mind is, "Do feelings matter?"
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... Think You Are Not Good Enough? Please Read
I think all of us, at some point or another, question whether we are good enough. This is why I wanted to share with you 8 Things To Remember When You Think You're Not Good Enough from Collective Evolution. This insightful piece by Joe Martino does an excellent job of offering thoughts on shifting that moment when we think we are not good enough to accept ourselves as we are....
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
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