10 results for tag: Multicultural Couples Counseling

9 Things your Therapist wants you to Know

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this essay on things your therapist wants you to know! As a counselor, I often want to share many of the elements the author describes below. Many people make assumptions about therapists and counselors and what we know, don't know, or what we are like when we are not meeting with clients. I tend to chuckle when folks assume that I am someone who goes to bed early, gets up at dawn to meditate, and rarely if ever, goes out and comes home late at night, which I often do! Therapists and counselors are rarely shocked by your experiences or traumas. For someone like me, who has been doing this since 1993, I have been present with folks sharing their experiences, challenges, and obstacles for a long time. I have also experienced plenty in my own life. I am ready for whatever your particular brand of mess or chaos is. We all have messes in our lives!...

What I Wish I’d Known Before Moving in Together

Moving in together can be a glorious and stressful experience. The prospect of sharing space, bills, meals, conversation, and a bed can be incredibly exciting.

What happens if it doesn't work out?

What happens if it does work out?

Do we really know each other well enough yet?

Early in the pandemic, I worked with several couples who had just started dating before the pandemic and decided moving in together to have someone to quarantine with sounded better than being alone. I mean, we had no idea how long we were going to be quarantined, so why not? I recognize how funny this sounds, but why not? Couples have been thrown together into arranged marriages for millennia after first meeting each other. It is not like this is a new process.

I really enjoyed the experience of working with new couples just after moving in together, being around each other 24/7 while working or going to school remotely, or not having any work or school, just staying home all day together. If you are curious, many have succeeded. In fact, the two got married the following year and started families together!

Moving in together is not a straightforward process. Patience and flexibility are required while figuring out how to mesh two complete lives together. I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did on moving in together....

The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late

I have heard the statement "The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late" much too often. This is also true for people who are not married or even a couple. We may learn too late in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or anybody. In this case, "The Marriage Lesson" is a lesson for all relationships! The awareness that small things are significant in our relationships is valuable for us all. If someone repeatedly shares something that you are doing or not doing that brings up anger, pain, sadness, fear, betrayal, rejection, flooding, or any other strong emotion that creates distance, I encourage you to listen. This is especially ...

Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone. Be Afraid of Being In A Bad Relationship

Being alone. One of the greatest fears many people experience. Those in difficult and/or toxic relationships debate between being alone and being in a bad relationship often, even daily. Being alone can be a terrifying fear that can create desperation and self-destruction.

How do we know when a relationship has reached the point where being alone is less challenging than being present?...

18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors

There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors since we have diverse training, backgrounds, and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no," protecting yourself, and letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well. My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list: "Feelings are not facts." I wish we could all integrate this nugget of wisdom into our lives!
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The 3 Core Skills Every Person Needs for Romantic Competence

Romantic competence is not a phrase that has yet reached mainstream culture, but I suspect it will soon enough. Romantic competence includes three core skills: insight, mutuality, and emotional regulation. These skills affect all our relationships, not just romantic relationships. I have reflected on the three skills of romantic competence, wanting to discern if any of the three are necessary. I feel clear that they are all valuable and essential to improving our relationships, especially romantic relationships. I am interested in what you learn from this fascinating article about the work of  Joanne Davila on romantic competence! ...

Great Relationships Are Not Accidents

Great relationships are not accidents. It sounds so simple and obvious that it almost feels like it cannot actually be true. I can almost see a pink and purple bumper sticker on an old Volkswagen Bug written in cute letters. How can something as complicated as relationships be so simple, you ask? Great question! The answer to great relationships is equally simple and obvious: trust. Simple and obvious, yes, easy, not so much. When we speak about trust, most people nod their heads in agreement. If we take a closer look at what trust entails, most of us want to curl up in a little ball under the covers....

Men’s Group for Support & Growth!

We are starting a new Men’s Group! Join us, for more info on Men’s Group.

Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters

Find out about this exciting new book here.

Online Lunchtime Meditation Practice Tuesdays!

Online lunch meditation practice on Tuesdays from 12:15-12:45 (Eastern Time)!  No previous meditation experience is necessary! For more info and a Zoom Link, click here.

Online Counseling & Coaching!

I now provide Online Counseling & Coaching. For more info.

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