42 results for tag: Providence Couples Counseling
Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility
Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters - From Mobster to Reiki Master, A Memoir of Awakening & Transformation. Find out more about this exciting new book here.
We all come into this life with stuff to unpack and learn. Some of us have entered life with more significant challenges than others. It can be said that ALL OF US have endured trauma in one form or another. This can mean being neglected as children, being abused as a child, teen or adult, military, sexual assault and rape, alcoholism and drug addiction, poverty, and racial and cultural issues, just to name a few forms of trauma. We all experience these challenges in different ways. It has become widespread for self-help and pop psychology "gurus" to present pathology as a singular, logical pattern that explains life experiences through a lens that, in all cases, "this means that" and all people experience "this and that" the same. It is false and damaging to the millions of people who read or hear these claims and wonder why it is not valid for them. We have our shared experiences but in our own unique way. That is one of the joys of being human!
No two people experience trauma the same, but there are enough common traits to share and learn from each other and gain support and camaraderie. I can learn from you and vice-versa. I remember when my cousin returned from Vietnam, he would not discuss what happened to anyone. Then, one day, a friend of his who was also a Vietnam vet was over. He talked and talked about what he saw and did for hours. We were all surprised after not hearing him speak about it for more than a paragraph after being home for several years. The same applies to people participating in Twelve-Step or cancer survivor groups. Shared experiences help us feel like we belong and we are not alone. This is important in moving forward through traumatic experiences.
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Hormones In Relationships – Are You a ‘Testosterone’ or a ‘Dopamine?’
We are all affected by hormones in relationships. I am fascinated by this work and its potential in understanding relationship choices and exploring the impact of hormones on relationships. How does this influence our compatibility or lack thereof? I appreciate there are four distinct profile types, dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen, in no particular order. The fact that they move beyond the limitations of the two profile types of estrogen and testosterone feels more honest and accurate than defining folks by just the two hormones and dismissing the effects of dopamine and serotonin. Hormones in relationships are a real thing, ...
The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship
A few years back, I wrote a piece for Providence Life Coach Dating Success Series - Conscious Coupling . When I saw the article, which is copied below, The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship, I thought it was time to add some new content to this conversation on creating positive, lasting relationships. I really appreciate what Shelly Bullard has written, especially the first quality; "The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship - growth comes first." This is so important and often overlooked. We are so desperate to make relationships last that we forget that our personal and collective growth as people is an even greater goal. If we grow, our relationship grows; it is inevitable. Many people grow to "save" the relationship. This is courageous, but it is also an end to a means. We need to grow whether the relationship continues or not.
Rules For Fair Fighting In Relationships
Rules for fair fighting. It sounds like an oxymoron. If you take a minute to reflect, most of us suck when it comes to arguing and fighting with the people we love. I was not talking about your partner; I'm talking about you. Me too. Of all the things that we are taught by our families, friends, schools, and culture, children are rarely well-trained in how to manage conflict in a meaningful and productive way. Let's explore one of the many sets of rules for fair fighting in relationships together.
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... Do Feelings Matter? Refections on Feelings in Our Lives
I was recently reading an article in Psychology Today, Life Lessons: 16 Truths to Embrace Now. Providence Holistic Counseling Services is listed in Psychology Today, so I receive a print copy monthly. I rarely read the articles because they feel like typical pop culture, with sensationalistic headlines and not a lot of solid content. I also find that the cover is typically an image of a young, white, attractive, thin female Photoshopped to look seductive with thick lipstick covering parted lips. An embarrassment to the industry. Now and then, I am wrong, and they dig a little deeper. The ideas of the various writers who contributed to this article are helpful and well-written. One of them referenced how the current generation of young adults places a great preference on what they feel and their emotions. This got me thinking. The question that came to mind is, "Do feelings matter?"
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... Obsessions and Compulsions: Zen Buddhism Help or Hurt?
Obsessions and compulsions, we all have them. Does Buddhism help or hurt those trying to learn how to live life without being controlled by their obsessions and compulsions? Zen Buddhism can be a very orderly and defined practice. Zen Buddhism is often regimented, or at least many practitioners and teachers practice that way. Our discussion today is whether Zen Buddhism supports recovery of obsessions and compulsions or the actual obsessions and compulsions themselves. Obsession and compulsions Zen Buddhism have a unique relationship, so let's explore it together.
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... 11 Reasons Why You Should Never Hide How Weird You Are
As a child, and even more so as a teenager, I was taught that in all situations, no matter what was happening, you must hide how weird you are. I repeat, you must hide how weird you are! This mindset was supported by the majority of people in my life, including school and family and, to a lesser extent, peers.
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... Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
