3 results for tag: Rebuilding Trust


Jealousy – Why Do We Get Jealous in Relationships?

Jealousy is one of the oddest emotions we experience as humans. It does not matter if there is a shred of evidence for the intensity of the feeling of jealousy. Our system does not differentiate between seeing your partner with another person and believing that your partner is with another person. This is similar to experiencing fear. Our nervous system responds the same way to the perception of fear and danger. Example: If we read a post on social media stating that an asteroid is about to hit Earth in our town, our nervous system will create hormones and thoughts to protect us. It turns out that someone posted this to annoy other people, and there was no threat. If an asteroid hit Earth in our town, the body and nervous system would still have responded the same way. Since jealousy is a form of fear, we have the same kind of experience. Example: If we feel threatened by our partner being contacted by their ex, we may feel a surge of jealousy, knowing they are connecting. Some people create all kinds of narratives inside their heads around why they are connecting and what it means to our relationship today. They may begin to distrust them and take steps to find evidence that there is a threat. And while doing so, we may view normal situations as evidence, confirmation bias. Now that we have "evidence" we may confront our partner and have trouble sleeping at night. And as the process escalates, our brain may create more "evidence" to confirm our fears. For some people, this can hijack everything else happening in their lives. Eventually, we find out that their ex was contacting them to let them know that a family member they were close to was killed in a car crash and the funeral service is Friday.
Based on the example above, what did we learn about jealousy?...

Conflict Resolution: Transform Your Conflict Cycle

Most couples struggle with conflict resolution. They may call it communication, anger issues, conflict avoidance, contempt, manipulation, narcissism, trauma response, triggers, etc., but we are often talking about conflict resolution.

"What is conflict? Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. After all, two people can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time. The key is not to fear or try to avoid conflict but to learn how to resolve it in a healthy way.

When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people. Whether you’re experiencing conflict at home, work, or school, learning these skills can help you resolve differences in a healthy way and build stronger, more rewarding relationships." Excerpt from Conflict Resolution Skills.
Conflict resolution skills allow us to shift our conflict cycle to create an environment supportive of connection, safety, trust, and intimacy. Trust is the primary component of successful relationships and connections. Creating or rebuilding trust can take time, patience, and a willingness to step outside our comfort zone through conflict resolution....

Are You Really Being Accountable?

In the last handful of years, there has been an increased focus on accountability and taking responsibility for our actions. I have really appreciated the energy and attention to wanting to do and be better, primarily birthed by Gen Z and Millennials. It’s about time! But are we truly being accountable, or are we just telling people what we’ve done wrong and why we did it? I invite you to read the full article on being accountable, including the steps to cleaning up mistakes here: Are you really being accountable? Being responsible and accountable is about changing our behaviors, and the patterns that create them. It’s not about ...