62 results for tag: Relationship Counseling
Sexy Weakness – The Sexual Power of Emotional Vulnerability
Sexy weakness? What on earth is that? As a man, like millions of other men, I was taught that being vulnerable was bad and a sign of being weak. I was taught women want a man who is strong, stable, and "tough," whatever the heck that means. I was taught that you keep your emotions in check and never let anyone see who you really are. Like never. It has taken me decades to unlearn some of this programming. Parts of it were easy and simple to leave behind; other elements took longer and needed more attention and intention. More importantly, women did not feel safe around me because I didn't feel safe around me or my thoughts. I typically attracted ...
The Real Reason Women Leave Men – Trust and Safety
I am not a fan of clickbait headlines. I saw this today on The Good Man Project, and that was enough for me to read it and see if there was substance to the sensationalistic tagline. There is definitely content here that is worth the time to explore why women leave men. Of course, relationships can be very complicated, and the reason Matthew Fray offers is simplistic but valid and credible. I encourage you to invest the time to read his post on why women leave men.
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... Arguments About $ Aren’t About Money
Arguments. The first time I meet a new couple that I am working with, I ask them to each share why they are here today. Almost without exception, they each launch into a one-sided description of a recent argument, telling it solely from their perspective. In their minds, they are seeking relationship counseling because of an argument or arguments.
I ask a few more questions to get a greater understanding of their current challenges. Most of the time, they continue to refer back to the argument or arguments previously mentioned.
I will follow that up with a question similar to this, "So if I am hearing you correctly, you are here because of an argument or arguments, not due to a lack of trust, connection, respect, communication, commitment, safety, and/or intimacy?".
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... Relationship Recommendations During Covid-19
We all need relationship recommendations from time to time. In this current pandemic, there are intense pressures on relationships for couples who are trying to figure out how to get along and thrive during Covid-19 or just survive in some cases. Most couples have never had to experience such a high degree of proximity for an extended amount of time, as we need to manage right now. Add in the economic stress and fear of physical safety, and it is no surprise that more couples are reaching out for support and guidance than at any other time in history.
Please remind yourself and each other that this is temporary; you need each other, and you really do love each other, even if none of the above feels true at this moment. I encourage you to trust your history and that you have endured difficult challenges before and are still together. And most of all, PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER! This is an incredibly stressful time in every one of our lives. We need to feel safe while navigating this unique global situation. Trust your love, connection, and your foundation as your guides and collective resources. Please be gentle with each other and yourself. Ask for help if you need it.
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... Being Sober – Alcoholism Is About Pain; Not Drinking Too Much
Getting and staying sober is a monumental task. It takes an incredible amount of effort and commitment, especially in the beginning. Getting sober isn't the goal, though. The goal is to become at minimum a decent human being, if not an exceptional one. Somehow our culture has created this illusional that staying sober is the destination, it's not even close. Getting sober is the springboard to something better. Staying sober is not the goal; getting married isn't the goal of a relationship. The goal for both alcoholics and marriages is to be healthy and balanced and live your best life with solid, sustainable relationships that support love, connection, and respect.
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... 3 Reasons You Should Definitely Not Go To Therapy
This article is hysterical, insightful, and well-written. If you have never read Elephant Journal previously, I invite you to do so. The essays are interesting, relevant, and thoughtful without any hype or propaganda. A therapist with a brand of honesty and humor wrote this essay on why NOT to go to therapy. I can see myself actually thinking from this perspective about thirty years ago. It feels very familiar. I have a lot to add, but I am going to just offer you to read and digest on your own, but no matter what you do, don't go to therapy:)
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