62 results for tag: Relationship Counseling
They See a Dark Shadow, You See the Bright Light that Casts It
Are you a bright light? Are you shining at your highest intensity? What do you need to become the bright light you were meant to be?
They see a dark shadow; you see the bright light that casts it. They see the night; you see the moon. They see a mistake; you see a lesson.
Published on LinkedIn on January 30, 2018
Oleg Vishnepolsky
A group of students was asked to list what they thought were the present “Seven Wonders of the World.” Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:
1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire ...
The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship
A few years back, I wrote a piece for Providence Life Coach Dating Success Series - Conscious Coupling . When I saw the article, which is copied below, The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship, I thought it was time to add some new content to this conversation on creating positive, lasting relationships. I really appreciate what Shelly Bullard has written, especially the first quality; "The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship - growth comes first." This is so important and often overlooked. We are so desperate to make relationships last that we forget that our personal and collective growth as people is an even greater goal. If we grow, our relationship grows; it is inevitable. Many people grow to "save" the relationship. This is courageous, but it is also an end to a means. We need to grow whether the relationship continues or not.
Rules For Fair Fighting In Relationships
Rules for fair fighting. It sounds like an oxymoron. If you take a minute to reflect, most of us suck when it comes to arguing and fighting with the people we love. I was not talking about your partner; I'm talking about you. Me too. Of all the things that we are taught by our families, friends, schools, and culture, children are rarely well-trained in how to manage conflict in a meaningful and productive way. Let's explore one of the many sets of rules for fair fighting in relationships together.
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... Why Nice Guys Stay Single – So Do Bad Boys
When I first saw the heading "Why Nice Guys Stay Single", I rolled my eyes; at least I tried. I have never perfected eye-rolling. I thought to myself, "Another article written by a bitter, single woman who likes bad boys who treat her like shit". I was completely wrong. I have no idea if Kathryn Hogan is single, but she is definitely not bitter and incredibly perceptive.
Here is a quote from this article; if this does not move you, there is no need to read further.
"What women—evolved, mature, powerful women—actually need is a man who embodies the divinity of manhood. This may sound mystical, but it’s not. Every man is sacred, can touch the sacred masculine within him, can be a man who stands in compassion, loyalty, and honor, who cares enough to realize that only his true, unfiltered presence is good enough for this world. A man with a powerful heart, who can hold a woman in his presence, who can weather her emotional storms, who is nourished by being near her, and sees her divinity, and gives endlessly of himself."This article explores why being a nice guy will only get you so far. You must dive deeper into yourself and express everything that makes you. The real you. The authentic you. Nice guys are men who are hiding from themselves and the women they wish to connect with and love. No more Mr. Nice Guy (see Alice Cooper song below for kicks).
Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships and The Shadow
I first started becoming aware of spiritual bypassing a few years ago. My eyes opened wide as I was reading the page in front of me. "A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks" John Welwood & Tina Fossella. This was it! This was the thing I had been aware of for years in myself and others that I had not known what it was or how to describe it! I was so excited that there really was such a "thing," and it had a name.
I have cut out parts of the article below, but most of the content on spiritual bypassing is included.
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Building Bridges or Building Walls
In relationships, we typically either build bridges or walls. When we build bridges, we work towards connection, intimacy, and safety. In contrast, when we build walls, we move towards distance, isolation, discomfort, and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or walls.
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Listen To Their Story – Ex-CIA Undercover Officer
The video below is titled "Former Undercover CIA Officer Talks War And Peace." While I was listening and watching, what was loudest to me was how this applies to everyday life, not just foreign wars. What if we listen to their story as a practice we all follow when trying to resolve conflicts with partners, lovers, friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers?
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