24 results for tag: Sex and Relationships

Red Flags For Your Relationships

We have all been there, the red flags in a new relationship. When launching a new relationship, we see these little signs that our instincts tell us to "RUN," but we don't listen. They are attractive, fun, or funny; maybe they have a good job or career, or maybe they are just so different than the last relationship that ANYTHING feels like an upgrade. These red flags are not always obvious to us when oxytocin is released in our bodies, and everything feels magical.

"Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are often referred to as our “happy hormones.” When you’re attracted to another person, your brain releases dopamine, your serotonin levels increase, and oxytocin is produced. This causes you to feel a surge of positive emotion." Adrienne Santos-Longhurst  on Healthline.

When these hormones are released, we are not always able to make intelligent, thoughtful decisions. We tend to act impulsively and jump into a relationship based on the experiences that these hormones produce in us. We tend to attach good feelings to the person and assume that they are the cause of this newfound sense of joy and vitality. Sometimes they are the reasons we feel the way we do early in the relationship, sometimes it is just these specific hormones are doing what they are supposed to do, create offspring. This is why paying attention to red flags in a new relationship is so vital to its sustainable success and our well-being....

Listening and Learning: Communication During Coronavirus

Listening and learning are two essential skills for creating amazing relationships. This applies to couples and partners, as well as family, friends, and any relationship that is important to us. Coronavirus has amplified the need to focus our attention and energy towards clearer communication, especially listening and learning. From my experience personally and professionally as a couples counselor, I can honestly say that we do not focus enough time and attention on the benefit of learning from each other. Most of us feel like we already know our partners, family, and close friends. We do. We also can improve all relationships in our lives by learning even more about those who are part of our inner circle. Many couples counselors believe what is not said causes more harm in relationships than what is said. Listening and learning can support opportunities to create bridges and stronger, more loving relationships. Does having stronger, more loving relationships appeal to you? If so, I invite you to read Terry Gaspard's article on listening and learning during Corona through The Gottman Institute. I am an enthusiastic supporter of The Gottman Institute and am currently receiving more training in working with couples through their institute....

Gender Roles of Listening – It’s Not About The Nail

This short film provides an opportunity for us to explore how gender roles of listening are expressed in relationships. I invite you to pay attention to how this short film affects you. Does it bring up anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, frustration, laughter, or any other emotions? What are your thoughts about your current or previous partners as you watch this short film? Do you find yourself blaming them or yourself for past or current challenges? https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg ...

Sexy Weakness – The Sexual Power of Emotional Vulnerability

Sexy weakness? What on earth is that? As a man, like millions of other men, I was taught that being vulnerable was bad and a sign of being weak. I was taught women want a man who is strong, stable, and "tough," whatever the heck that means. I was taught that you keep your emotions in check and never let anyone see who you really are. Like never. It has taken me decades to unlearn some of this programming. Parts of it were easy and simple to leave behind; other elements took longer and needed more attention and intention. More importantly, women did not feel safe around me because I didn't feel safe around me or my thoughts. I typically attracted ...

The Real Reason Women Leave Men – Trust and Safety

I am not a fan of clickbait headlines. I saw this today on The Good Man Project, and that was enough for me to read it and see if there was substance to the sensationalistic tagline. There is definitely content here that is worth the time to explore why women leave men. Of course, relationships can be very complicated, and the reason Matthew Fray offers is simplistic but valid and credible. I encourage you to invest the time to read his post on why women leave men. The Real Reason Women Leave Men - Trust and Safety - Michael Swerdloff - Providence Holistic Counselor, Coach and Reiki   ...

Arguments About $ Aren’t About Money

Arguments. The first time I meet a new couple that I am working with, I ask them to each share why they are here today. Almost without exception, they each launch into a one-sided description of a recent argument, telling it solely from their perspective. In their minds, they are seeking relationship counseling because of an argument or arguments. I ask a few more questions to get a greater understanding of their current challenges. Most of the time, they continue to refer back to the argument or arguments previously mentioned. I will follow that up with a question similar to this, "So if I am hearing you correctly, you are here because of an argument or arguments, not due to a lack of trust, connection, respect, communication, commitment, safety, and/or intimacy?". Arguments About $ Aren't About Money - Michael Swerdloff - Providence Holistic Counselor, Coach & Reiki ...

Relationship Recommendations During Covid-19

We all need relationship recommendations from time to time. In this current pandemic, there are intense pressures on relationships for couples who are trying to figure out how to get along and thrive during Covid-19 or just survive in some cases. Most couples have never had to experience such a high degree of proximity for an extended amount of time, as we need to manage right now. Add in the economic stress and fear of physical safety, and it is no surprise that more couples are reaching out for support and guidance than at any other time in history. Please remind yourself and each other that this is temporary; you need each other, and you really do love each other, even if none of the above feels true at this moment. I encourage you to trust your history and that you have endured difficult challenges before and are still together. And most of all, PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER! This is an incredibly stressful time in every one of our lives. We need to feel safe while navigating this unique global situation. Trust your love, connection, and your foundation as your guides and collective resources. Please be gentle with each other and yourself. Ask for help if you need it. Relationship Recommendations During Covid-19 - ProvidenceHolistic Counseling, Coaching and Reiki - Michael Swerdloff ...