8 results for tag: Sex Counseling


Honest Sex – An Updated Definition of Sex

Honest Sex. It is time for an updated, honest definition of sex. It is not 1958, and we are not the people we were then culturally. We want honest sex that meets the needs of all of us, not just a few. We look different, dress differently, connect differently, and act differently; we meet our dates and partners differently. Why would we not want to update our definition of sex? Let's explore this article on Honest Sex by Shana James from The Gottman Institute....

9 Things your Therapist wants you to Know

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this essay on things your therapist wants you to know! As a counselor, I often want to share many of the elements the author describes below. Many people make assumptions about therapists and counselors and what we know, don't know, or what we are like when we are not meeting with clients. I tend to chuckle when folks assume that I am someone who goes to bed early, gets up at dawn to meditate, and rarely if ever, goes out and comes home late at night, which I often do! Therapists and counselors are rarely shocked by your experiences or traumas. For someone like me, who has been doing this since 1993, I have been present with folks sharing their experiences, challenges, and obstacles for a long time. I have also experienced plenty in my own life. I am ready for whatever your particular brand of mess or chaos is. We all have messes in our lives!...

What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy? A Beginners Guide

What is ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy, and what is not ethical non-monogamy? Ethical non-monogamy is when a couple mutually decides to add other lovers or romantic or sexual partners to their existing relationship. I want to be clear: ethical non-monogamy is NOT having an affair or one-night stand(s) without having your partner's consent and support IN ADVANCE. Since the author of the article below explores ethical non-monogamy, I will primarily focus on what it is not. Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) Is Not: Being attracted to someone else and pressuring or manipulating your partner into you being with someone else for your ...

18 Invaluable Pieces of Advice From Therapists & Counselors

There are not many common pieces of advice from therapists and counselors since we have diverse training, backgrounds, and experiences, but this list seems accurate. The themes around boundaries/saying "no," protecting yourself, and letting go of relationships that are not supporting your growth and peace are essential and agreed upon generally across the field. Of course, your specific situation and circumstances are important to consider as well. My favorite piece of advice from therapists and counselors is first on their list: "Feelings are not facts." I wish we could all integrate this nugget of wisdom into our lives!
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The 3 Core Skills Every Person Needs for Romantic Competence

Romantic competence is not a phrase that has yet reached mainstream culture, but I suspect it will soon enough. Romantic competence includes three core skills: insight, mutuality, and emotional regulation. These skills affect all our relationships, not just romantic relationships. I have reflected on the three skills of romantic competence, wanting to discern if any of the three are necessary. I feel clear that they are all valuable and essential to improving our relationships, especially romantic relationships. I am interested in what you learn from this fascinating article about the work of  Joanne Davila on romantic competence! ...

Sexy Weakness – The Sexual Power of Emotional Vulnerability

Sexy weakness? What on earth is that? As a man, like millions of other men, I was taught that being vulnerable was bad and a sign of being weak. I was taught women want a man who is strong, stable, and "tough," whatever the heck that means. I was taught that you keep your emotions in check and never let anyone see who you really are. Like never. It has taken me decades to unlearn some of this programming. Parts of it were easy and simple to leave behind; other elements took longer and needed more attention and intention. More importantly, women did not feel safe around me because I didn't feel safe around me or my thoughts. I typically attracted ...

Dear Therapists & Counselors – A Letter From A Fellow Human

What a beautiful letter by the client of a therapist. It feels great to be acknowledged in this way for all therapists and counselors. COVID-19 has created a sudden crisis in people who need support. We are here and will continue to be here when you need us. I am grateful to share my skills, knowledge, and experience with so many people who are experiencing great challenges right now and throughout life. The pandemic has created a whole new set of life obstacles for us mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and energetically. Please know you are not alone and that support is available. No one needs to go through this or any traumatic experiences alone. YOU MATTER AND ARE NEEDED! Dear Therapists & Counselors - A Letter From A Fellow Human - Michael Swerdloff - Providence Holistic Counselor, Coach and Reiki ...