8 results for tag: Social Connection
Porn Addiction, Loneliness and Connection
Porn addiction is increasing at a rapid pace. We know that access to online porn continues to create loneliness, disconnection, and porn addiction. But is porn the actual problem? Again, we come back to Johann Hari's findings. His research and personal experiences, as well as my own, support the theory that addictions often lack meaningful connection(s). This applies to porn addiction as well. The work we do in recovery from porn addiction includes focusing on creating new connections and strengthening those already existing. These connections and forming new habits can begin the process of feeling safe and a sense of belonging, all foundations of a sustainable recovery....
As Friendships Grow Closer – Jeff Brown
I have been reflecting on this Jeff Brown quote on friendships lately. We tend to focus our efforts towards relationships on our romantic/intimate partnerships and family. But what about friendships?
What if we carried the same intention and effort with our main friendships, or "friendship pods"?
I am incredibly grateful for my core group of friends and how impactful our love, support, and collective commitment are and have been in my life, especially during the height of the pandemic. I am inspired continuously by our willingness as individuals and as a group to walk towards challenges, not away.
"As friendships grow closer, conflict be...
Addiction Is Not The Drugs, It’s The ACEs
Why Connection Matters
Connection matters. It is easy to forget how important connecting with others is, but connection matters. A sense of belonging and acceptance can be essential to our experience of self, safety, and trust. I generally do not publish posts this long, but all three excerpts helped create a complete picture of why connection matters. I want to add one element to the discussion of why connection matters.
This is similar to when people use the inaccurate phrase, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first." My experience has demonstrated that we can't know ourselves without being connected to others to reflect who we are, not who we want to believe we are, so we feel better about ourselves. I know deep inside that I am a thoughtful, compassionate, and caring human being because those character traits are expressed easily and organically when I am connected with other humans. When I am not connected with other humans, I have to rely on my current self-assessment to determine whether those things are true or not. History has taught me, and most of us, that our inner narrative is typically either false or one of many parts of a whole self, not the actual whole person.
The problem with the statement, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first." is that very few people, if any, can love themselves without experiencing love in their life. We need to feel love to love ourselves. We have to know what love feels like to love ourselves. This is another reason why connection matters. When we feel connected and have a sense of belonging, it is much easier to love ourselves and others. Without feeling love, I can be a bit of a crapshoot....
How Sobriety Strategies Can Help Anxious People Reenter Society After The Pandemic
This article discusses strategies that work for recovering alcoholics and addicts and may help people who are choosing to return to their lives pre-pandemic. The basic recovery principles of accepting what is true right now, creating and sticking to a plan, identifying feelings/emotions, connecting with the community, and gratitude are the cornerstones of recovery. For my first few years, they were vital to my survival. Today, they are a natural part of my life expressed in ways that are more representative of who I am now.
I encourage you to be patient with yourself and allow space for the more challenging feelings and emotions you may experience, like anxiety, distance, being overwhelmed, panic, anxiousness, depression, and possibly wanting to hide under the covers. For most people, these emotions will be temporary. Let your friends and family know what you are going through if that feels safe. I highly recommend having some fun, plain old simple fun! Laugh and play as often as you can! Just because you are re-entering society does not mean you have to consume more alcohol/drugs than you know is good for you. Fun is the goal, not another form of numbness or reason to feel isolated. The principles below may be helpful guides for you as you expand your world to your specific needs and wants.
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How Iceland Got Teens to Say No to Drugs – The Icelandic Model
I become excited and inspired when I see concepts, ideas, and methods that I use in my work validated by international scientists and authors. The two articles that I have included excerpts from offer alternative ideas about the use and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. From my experience, combining these two perspectives is the core of my work, supporting and facilitating shifting patterns, behaviors, obsessions, and addictions.
I typically integrate these three principles/methods for shifting unwanted patterns and behaviors.
- Exercises supporting the discovery and understanding of our patterns and thinking.
- Explore what we feel connected to, or the lack of connection, to people, animals, friends, family, and our environment. Create a plan to improve and expand our connections. (Read Johann Hari's views on addiction and connection at the bottom of this post.).
- Brainstorm interests, passions, and activities that we have either enjoyed in our past or present or would like to explore, including creative expressions, physical activity, opportunities to connect with the natural world, or anything that inspires or stimulates us. We follow the brainstorming process by implementing some of these interests and activities into our lives before or during launching into facilitating the shift in the unwanted behaviors. In short, let's find out what will inspire and stimulate you to replace the patterns, behaviors, and addictions that are problematic. (This parallels the process Harvey Milkman researched in the U.S. and implemented in Iceland, discussed in the main article focusing on teens and addiction.)
Being Better Humans Support Group
We have an amazing Support Group for Everyone! We have been meeting every other Monday on Zoom! Come join the circle!
What are we doing?
We are a group of people discussing their honest feelings on relationships, drugs, love, sex, money, and work. We’ll pick a topic, trade stories, have a moderated discussion, and maybe scream, cry, or yell (if needed). We’ll dive in deep and not let fear keep us from expressing who we really are. We’ll explore what makes us amazing and far from amazing, where we need to grow and what gets in the way of growing, how to trust ourselves and others and what obstacles get in the way of trust. We’ll find what environments support our safety, and how to set boundaries in those that don’t. Most importantly, we’ll just practice being our authentic selves. We may include meditation, movement and other practices designed to create clarity, presence and truth. What we do will be guided by what shows up at every session. We will have assignments between sessions to reflect more deeply and practice whatever we worked on together.
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Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
