9 results for tag: Social Disconnection

Isolation in the Digital Era: The Power of Human Relationships

We are all aware of the potential costs of isolation—at least, we were before we became entrenched in digital connections. Human connections are suffering as more people feel increased isolation. I look forward to your comments and experiences on isolation from the article below posted on The Gottman Institute....

Porn Addiction, Loneliness and Connection

Porn addiction is increasing at a rapid pace. We know that access to online porn continues to create loneliness, disconnection, and porn addiction. But is porn the actual problem? Again, we come back to Johann Hari's findings. His research and personal experiences, as well as my own, support the theory that addictions often lack meaningful connection(s). This applies to porn addiction as well. The work we do in recovery from porn addiction includes focusing on creating new connections and strengthening those already existing. These connections and forming new habits can begin the process of feeling safe and a sense of belonging, all foundations of a sustainable recovery....

As Friendships Grow Closer – Jeff Brown

I have been reflecting on this Jeff Brown quote on friendships lately. We tend to focus our efforts towards relationships on our romantic/intimate partnerships and family. But what about friendships? What if we carried the same intention and effort with our main friendships, or "friendship pods"? I am incredibly grateful for my core group of friends and how impactful our love, support, and collective commitment are and have been in my life, especially during the height of the pandemic. I am inspired continuously by our willingness as individuals and as a group to walk towards challenges, not away. "As friendships grow closer, conflict be...

Addiction Is Not The Drugs, It’s The ACEs

Addiction Is Not The Drugs, It's The ACEs. As we learn more and more about addiction, its causes, and recovery, it is not what we thought it was, or at least it is not only what we thought it was. We now know that many addicts experienced trauma(s) and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), adolescent trauma, or multiple traumas resulting in PTSD or complex PTSD (cPTSD). Thanks to the research and work by Johann Hari, we discovered another clue to the cause of addiction, a lack of connection. We will continue to learn and develop better and more holistic treatment and recovery for addicts and alcoholics. This particular article focuses predominantly on addiction to drugs and alcohol, but it mostly definitely applies to the full spectrum of addictions. Many of us have experienced ACEs, and much has been documented about the repercussions throughout life. But what about the relationship between ACEs and addiction? Is what we call addiction just a way of creating comfort and the illusion of safety through repeated actions to relieve the symptoms of ACEs?What if you felt safe and comfortable in your mind, body, and spirit? Do you think you would still need to chase the feeling of numbness/comfort through obsessive behaviors? What if we learned that we have been "treating a stomach ache with an aspirin" all these years? What if we knew definitively that addiction is not the drugs, but something deep inside us, what would shift in you?...

How Sobriety Strategies Can Help Anxious People Reenter Society After The Pandemic

This article discusses strategies that work for recovering alcoholics and addicts and may help people who are choosing to return to their lives pre-pandemic. The basic recovery principles of accepting what is true right now, creating and sticking to a plan, identifying feelings/emotions, connecting with the community, and gratitude are the cornerstones of recovery. For my first few years, they were vital to my survival. Today, they are a natural part of my life expressed in ways that are more representative of who I am now.
I encourage you to be patient with yourself and allow space for the more challenging feelings and emotions you may experience, like anxiety, distance, being overwhelmed, panic, anxiousness, depression, and possibly wanting to hide under the covers. For most people, these emotions will be temporary. Let your friends and family know what you are going through if that feels safe. I highly recommend having some fun, plain old simple fun! Laugh and play as often as you can! Just because you are re-entering society does not mean you have to consume more alcohol/drugs than you know is good for you. Fun is the goal, not another form of numbness or reason to feel isolated.  The principles below may be helpful guides for you as you expand your world to your specific needs and wants.
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How Iceland Got Teens to Say No to Drugs – The Icelandic Model

I become excited and inspired when I see concepts, ideas, and methods that I use in my work validated by international scientists and authors. The two articles that I have included excerpts from offer alternative ideas about the use and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. From my experience, combining these two perspectives is the core of my work, supporting and facilitating shifting patterns, behaviors, obsessions, and addictions. I typically integrate these three principles/methods for shifting unwanted patterns and behaviors.
  1.  Exercises supporting the discovery and understanding of our patterns and thinking.
  2.  Explore what we feel connected to, or the lack of connection, to people, animals, friends, family, and our environment. Create a plan to improve and expand our connections. (Read Johann Hari's views on addiction and connection at the bottom of this post.).
  3. Brainstorm interests, passions, and activities that we have either enjoyed in our past or present or would like to explore, including creative expressions,  physical activity, opportunities to connect with the natural world, or anything that inspires or stimulates us. We follow the brainstorming process by implementing some of these interests and activities into our lives before or during launching into facilitating the shift in the unwanted behaviors. In short, let's find out what will inspire and stimulate you to replace the patterns, behaviors, and addictions that are problematic. (This parallels the process Harvey Milkman researched in the U.S. and implemented in Iceland, discussed in the main article focusing on teens and addiction.)
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Sexy Weakness – The Sexual Power of Emotional Vulnerability

Sexy weakness? What on earth is that? As a man, like millions of other men, I was taught that being vulnerable was bad and a sign of being weak. I was taught women want a man who is strong, stable, and "tough," whatever the heck that means. I was taught that you keep your emotions in check and never let anyone see who you really are. Like never. It has taken me decades to unlearn some of this programming. Parts of it were easy and simple to leave behind; other elements took longer and needed more attention and intention. More importantly, women did not feel safe around me because I didn't feel safe around me or my thoughts. I typically attracted ...

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