2 results for tag: The Anger Iceberg

The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late

I have heard the statement "The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late" much too often. This is also true for people who are not married or even a couple. We may learn too late in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or anybody. In this case, "The Marriage Lesson" is a lesson for all relationships! The awareness that small things are significant in our relationships is valuable for us all. If someone repeatedly shares something that you are doing or not doing that brings up anger, pain, sadness, fear, betrayal, rejection, flooding, or any other strong emotion that creates distance, I encourage you to listen. This is especially ...

Anger A Secondary Emotion – What Are We Protecting?

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Many years ago, the psychologist who turned my life around once told me, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger. The primary emotion is typically fear, sometimes sadness or pain." Of course, I became even angrier when she said this! I remember thinking, "Fear, I am not scared of anything. I'm pissed off, not scared!" Her words haunted me. In the following weeks and months, every time I became angry, I often heard her in the back of my head whispering, "Michael, anger is a secondary emotion. You must feel another emotion first before you can experience anger." Notice how the fear part was left out of my process? Eventually, the part about fear also made its way into my process. That is when the shift began for me.

Anger - A Secondary Emotion - Providence Holistic Counseling Services...