16 results for tag: The Gottman Institute


Boundaries Help Us Connect + Exquisite Consent

I have just returned from two weeks at the annual Dance New England Dance Camp. I have been a participant for eleven years and an organizer for the last four. We created an ad hoc Consent and Boundaries Team to support even more safety and connection within our community. We created an amazing flyer on exquisite boundaries (below), we offered an evening dinner table for conversations around consent, a powerful and entertaining forum on consent and boundaries, including Playback Theater, and we purchased 300 wristbands with the saying, "Boundaries Help Us Connect". It was an intense and rewarding experience creating these programs, which were received enthusiastically!...

The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late

I have heard the statement "The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late" much too often. This is also true for people who are not married or even a couple. We may learn too late in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or anybody. In this case, "The Marriage Lesson" is a lesson for all relationships! The awareness that small things are significant in our relationships is valuable for us all. If someone repeatedly shares something that you are doing or not doing that brings up anger, pain, sadness, fear, betrayal, rejection, flooding, or any other strong emotion that creates distance, I encourage you to listen. This is especially ...

Do I Need to Heal Before Dating Again?

Do I need to heal before dating again? When is the right time to start dating again after a relationship? Is the answer different if one is deciding whether they are ready to date or whether they are ready to get into a relationship again? These are not simple questions to answer, nor are they the same for each one of us. For me, there are five essential questions to answer before dating again. ...

Great Relationships Are Not Accidents

Great relationships are not accidents. It sounds so simple and obvious that it almost feels like it cannot actually be true. I can almost see a pink and purple bumper sticker on an old Volkswagen Bug written in cute letters. How can something as complicated as relationships be so simple, you ask? Great question! The answer to great relationships is equally simple and obvious: trust. Simple and obvious, yes, easy, not so much. When we speak about trust, most people nod their heads in agreement. If we take a closer look at what trust entails, most of us want to curl up in a little ball under the covers....

Cultural Competency & 7 Things You Should Expect from a Mental Health Professional

I am incredibly grateful for the experience of working with the Urban League for several years. The National Urban League works to provide economic empowerment, educational opportunities, and the guarantee of civil rights for the underserved in America. I had the opportunity to work with and be supervised by many excellent social workers, community organizers, and counselors who trained me in cultural competency as a mental health professional and social worker. Of course,  there is always more to learn. There are so many different cultures, religions, and sub-cultures both here in the United States and around the world that it is impossible to truly achieve cultural competency. However, we can continue to learn and grow to support our communities to the best of our ability. Cultural competency is a process. not a static destination.

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Listening and Learning: Communication During Coronavirus

Listening and learning are two essential skills for creating amazing relationships. This applies to couples and partners, as well as family, friends, and any relationship that is important to us. Coronavirus has amplified the need to focus our attention and energy towards clearer communication, especially listening and learning. From my experience personally and professionally as a couples counselor, I can honestly say that we do not focus enough time and attention on the benefit of learning from each other. Most of us feel like we already know our partners, family, and close friends. We do. We also can improve all relationships in our lives by learning even more about those who are part of our inner circle. Many couples counselors believe what is not said causes more harm in relationships than what is said. Listening and learning can support opportunities to create bridges and stronger, more loving relationships. Does having stronger, more loving relationships appeal to you? If so, I invite you to read Terry Gaspard's article on listening and learning during Corona through The Gottman Institute. I am an enthusiastic supporter of The Gottman Institute and am currently receiving more training in working with couples through their institute....

When Trauma Blocking Gets in the Way


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