27 results for tag: Trust
Green Flags For Your Relationship
We are all familiar with the "red flags" to be aware of when starting a new relationship. The green flags, however, do not get as much attention. We have possibly spent too much time making sure everyone knows what to avoid in relationships and perhaps not enough focus on what to embrace in relationships. The list of green flags is an attempt to offer another lens to view and assess what is productive and necessary to thrive and prosper in relationships.
Of the 6 Little Green Flags That You've Found A Keeper shared below, I would like to focus on just a few of them. Beginning with being your authentic self around them is key. If you feel safe enough around them to not feel like you have to look, sound and/or be different in their presence than you do with your inner circle, it is essential. Or, from the reverse perspective, why would you want to be with someone who does not feel like being yourself is enough or acceptable? ...
When Trauma Blocking Gets in the Way
Arguments About $ Aren’t About Money
Arguments. The first time I meet a new couple that I am working with, I ask them to each share why they are here today. Almost without exception, they each launch into a one-sided description of a recent argument, telling it solely from their perspective. In their minds, they are seeking relationship counseling because of an argument or arguments.
I ask a few more questions to get a greater understanding of their current challenges. Most of the time, they continue to refer back to the argument or arguments previously mentioned.
I will follow that up with a question similar to this, "So if I am hearing you correctly, you are here because of an argument or arguments, not due to a lack of trust, connection, respect, communication, commitment, safety, and/or intimacy?".
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... Rules For Fair Fighting In Relationships
Rules for fair fighting. It sounds like an oxymoron. If you take a minute to reflect, most of us suck when it comes to arguing and fighting with the people we love. I was not talking about your partner; I'm talking about you. Me too. Of all the things that we are taught by our families, friends, schools, and culture, children are rarely well-trained in how to manage conflict in a meaningful and productive way. Let's explore one of the many sets of rules for fair fighting in relationships together.
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... Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships and The Shadow
I first started becoming aware of spiritual bypassing a few years ago. My eyes opened wide as I was reading the page in front of me. "A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks" John Welwood & Tina Fossella. This was it! This was the thing I had been aware of for years in myself and others that I had not known what it was or how to describe it! I was so excited that there really was such a "thing," and it had a name.
I have cut out parts of the article below, but most of the content on spiritual bypassing is included.
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Building Bridges or Building Walls
In relationships, we typically either build bridges or walls. When we build bridges, we work towards connection, intimacy, and safety. In contrast, when we build walls, we move towards distance, isolation, discomfort, and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or walls.
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Book Release: Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters
Find out about this exciting new book here.
My Memoir Available Now!
