Three Ways to Practice Forgiveness Meditation

Do you practice forgiveness? When was the last time that you felt as if you were betrayed or disrespected by someone in your life? What did you silently, or not so silently, need on a deep, core level? Have you ever received the exact response you were hoping for? What was this experience like for you?

Have you had the opportunity to make amends to someone you felt you had harmed? How did you know if they accepted your amends or if you were forgiven? What part(s) of you were inspired and experienced a sense of peace and balance?

Practice Restorative Justice

When we practice forgiveness, we open ourselves to the potential for freedom, or at least resolution and/or justice. This is one of the reasons Restorative Justice is incredibly powerful for all participants.

“Restorative justice repairs the harm caused by crime. When victims, offenders and community members meet to decide how to do that, the results can be transformational.”

Practice Forgiveness – A Crash Course in Forgiveness

Several years ago, I sustained a serious injury due to carelessness by an acquaintance. I was the passenger in a violent car crash that changed my life. We were not friends, and I did not have a means of connecting with the individual responsible after the crash. Initially, I was grateful I was still alive since one person was killed. I understood they did not do this on purpose, but was frustrated with my current situation and the ripples in my life due to their negligence. About a year and a half later, I received an email from them. They expressed their sadness in creating the situation, took responsibility, and shared how my ability to handle this experience without anger inspired them to reassess their life and how they treated people. They spoke about how this is now the standard they hold themselves to and want to aspire to be better. I quietly had tears in my eyes when I read the message. I instantly felt a sense of peace and forgiveness for them. I no longer felt anger towards them and knew deep inside that they had suffered from this experience. I did not want either of us to suffer any longer. This is the essence of what it feels like to practice forgiveness.

Three Ways to Practice Forgiveness

Meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg guides us through an exercise that helps us cultivate kindness toward those who have harmed us (including our own selves).

By Sharon Salzberg

MAR 22, 2017

The sense of psychological and spiritual well-being that comes from practicing forgiveness comes directly because this practice takes us to the edge of what we can accept. Being on the edge is challenging, wrenching, and transforming. The process of forgiveness demands courage and a continual remembering of where our deepest happiness lies. As Goethe said, “Our friends show us what we can do; our enemies show us what we must do.”

It is indeed a process, which means that as you do the reflections, many conflicted emotions may arise: shame, anger, a sense of betrayal, confusion, or doubt. Try to allow such states to arise without judging them. Recognize them as natural occurrences, and then gently return your attention to the forgiveness reflection.

The reflection is done in three parts: asking forgiveness from those you have harmed; offering forgiveness to those who have harmed you; and offering forgiveness to yourself. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and let your breath be natural and uncontrolled. Begin with the recitation (silent or not, as you prefer): “If I have hurt or harmed anyone, knowingly or unknowingly, I ask their forgiveness.” If different people, images, or scenarios come up, release the burden of guilt and ask for forgiveness: “I ask your forgiveness.”

After some time, you can offer forgiveness to those who have harmed you. Don’t worry if there is not a great rush of loving feeling; this is not meant to be an artificial exercise, but rather a way of honoring the powerful force of intention in our minds. We are paying respects to our ultimate ability to let go and begin again. We are asserting the human heart’s capacity to change and grow and love. “If anyone has hurt or harmed me, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive them.” And, as different thoughts or images come up mind, continue the recitation, “I forgive you.”

In the end, we turn our attention to forgiveness of ourselves. If there are ways you have harmed yourself, or not loved yourself, or not lived up to your own expectations, this is the time to let go of unkindness toward yourself because of what you have done. You can include any inability to forgive others that you may have discovered on your part in the reflection immediately preceding—that is not a reason to be unkind to yourself. “For all of the ways I have hurt or harmed myself, knowingly or unknowingly, I offer forgiveness.”

Continue this practice as a part of your daily meditation, and allow the force of intention to work in its own way, in its own time.

Are you inspired by reading this meditation on practicing forgiveness? Are you ready to practice forgiveness? What needs to shift inside you to be open to practicing forgiveness when harmed? Is holding onto pain and anger offering you what you need? If not, is it productive?

I invite you to explore this piece and some amazingly courageous people who practice forgiveness in extreme circumstances and bring it to a whole new level: PORTRAITS OF RECONCILIATION – FORGIVENESS IN ACTION.

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Three Ways to Practice Forgiveness Meditation

Practice Restorative Justice

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