9 Signs You’ve Done Your Shadow Work

What are the signs you’ve done your shadow work?

None of them constantly quote famous authors, Gurus, and teachers.

None of them tell anybody who listens or reads that they must do their shadow work.

None of them use their spiritual knowledge as a marketing technique for economic success.

None of them believe that they know the singular “right way” to lead a spiritually guided life.

None of them claim that they have “completed” their shadow work.

You can view the work of Ruben Chavez on The Life Changing Magic of Shadow Work.

1. This may sound counter-intuitive, but you must be able to laugh at yourself, your mistakes, and your quirks. Anyone who thinks making mistakes and everything must be perfect has yet to do their shadow work. Please laugh at yourself freely.
2. You’re not easily triggered or offended. When we have completed the heavy lifting parts of our shadow work, we are not attached to the ego-based fragility of being offended by anyone who says or does anything that is not supportive. Fragile people feel attacked by neutral statements. When we are triggered, which is part of life, we are often experiencing a memory from our past or its imprints. Part of our shadow work is creating balance with our past.
3. You can see and appreciate multiple perspectives. When we believe we have the sole correct or proper perspective, we are limited in our ability to expand and grow. This is another element of an ego-based mindset. There are too many extraordinary people in the world for me to have the singular best or correct answer—it’s that simple.
4. You’re aware of your negative traits without being ashamed of them. Shame kills dreams, passions, and peace. Knowing we are, at best, flawed human beings is part of personal and spiritual development. One example is when people believe that their spiritual guides guide everything they do. These people are dangerous. An exceptional, highly connected person probably is aware of their spiritual guides’ insights about 5-10% of the time, at best.
5. You’re aware of your negative emotions, including shame itself, without being ashamed of them. We are so consumed with wanting positive emotions that we are willing to brainwash ourselves with “positive vibes only” just to avoid feeling our true feelings. Feeling shame, let’s get rid of it. Feeling lust, let’s get rid of it. Are you feeling angry? Let’s get rid of it. Feeling love, let’s get rid of it. Many of us do this through spiritual bypassing and think they are doing their shadow work. The ego is tricky!!! Our desire for comfort is incredibly impactful
6. You’re assertive without being rude. In simple terms, being a jerk is not evidence of spiritual development. We can be forceful and learn without placing anger, blame, or aggression on others. We can even be kind and gentle and still be assertive.
7. You’re assertive without being passive-aggressive. This is the other side of the assertive trap. Pretending not to be bothered or affected by leaking out your anger, hate, and displeasure to get what you want is not part of the spiritual journey; it’s just not.
8. You confront setbacks and adversity with courage and poise. We express our leadership by accepting that things sometimes work out differently than we want or expect. We step back, ground, center, and align to shift our perspective so we can serve ourselves and others.
9. You recognize a bit of yourself in everyone. If and when I identify parts of myself in people I do not like, respect, or appreciate, I want to crawl into a closet and hide from myself and the world. Humility is understanding that I have parts of me that mirror those who make violent, hateful, and harmful choices and those unique humans who have tapped into something extraordinary. I am them, and they are me. We share more common traits than we think of or want to believe.

I have taken the list of the 9 Signs You’ve Done Your Shadow Work created by Ruben Chavez and added my insights, experiences, and perspectives. Humility and self-honesty are the cornerstones of spiritual growth and development. We are not able to authentically love without humility or self-honesty. Many people make the mistake of focusing on their heart center/chakra before doing their shadow work of humility and honesty with self to be prevalent. We often experience these people as arrogant, condescending, and hard to connect with on a deep level.

If you do not know where to start with your shadow work, there are many excellent resources available to help you learn about your shadow. I highly encourage you to find a Counselor or Guide to help you through the process so you do not get convinced by your ego that you are further forward or backward than you think.

Other posts you may enjoy:

It’s Never Too Late To Be Amazing

Building Bridges or Building Walls

Number One Reason Most Relationships Struggle

Spiritual Bypassing, Relationships and The Shadow

Listening as an Art and Skill to Improving Relationships

Does Kindness Make You More Attractive? Research Says Yes

Michael Swerdloff

Providence, Holistic Counselor, Coach and Reiki