Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility

                  We all come into this life with stuff to unpack and learn.  Some of us have entered life with more significant challenges than others.  It can be said that ALL OF US have endured trauma in one form or another. This can mean being neglected as children, being abused as a child, teen or adult, military, sexual assault and rape, alcoholism and drug addiction, poverty, and racial and cultural issues, just to name a few forms of trauma. We all experience these challenges in different ways. It has become widespread for self-help and pop psychology "gurus" to present pathology as a singular, logical pattern that explains life experiences through a lens that, in all cases, "this means that" and all people experience "this and that" the same. It is false and damaging to the millions of people who read or hear these claims and wonder why it is not valid for them.  We have our shared experiences but in our own unique way. That is one of the joys of being human! No two people experience trauma the same, but there are enough common traits to share and learn from each other and gain support and camaraderie.  I can learn from you and vice-versa.  I remember when my cousin returned from Vietnam, he would not discuss what happened to anyone. Then, one day, a friend of his who was also a Vietnam vet was over. He talked and talked about what he saw and did for hours. We were all surprised after not hearing him speak about it for more than a paragraph after being home for several years.  The same applies to people participating in Twelve-Step or cancer survivor groups. Shared experiences help us feel like we belong and we are not alone. This is important in moving forward through traumatic experiences. ...