7 results for tag: conscious coupling

What I Wish I’d Known Before Moving in Together

Moving in together can be a glorious and stressful experience. The prospect of sharing space, bills, meals, conversation, and a bed can be incredibly exciting.

What happens if it doesn't work out?

What happens if it does work out?

Do we really know each other well enough yet?

Early in the pandemic, I worked with several couples who had just started dating before the pandemic and decided moving in together to have someone to quarantine with sounded better than being alone. I mean, we had no idea how long we were going to be quarantined, so why not? I recognize how funny this sounds, but why not? Couples have been thrown together into arranged marriages for millennia after first meeting each other. It is not like this is a new process.

I really enjoyed the experience of working with new couples just after moving in together, being around each other 24/7 while working or going to school remotely, or not having any work or school, just staying home all day together. If you are curious, many have succeeded. In fact, the two got married the following year and started families together!

Moving in together is not a straightforward process. Patience and flexibility are required while figuring out how to mesh two complete lives together. I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did on moving in together....

What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy? A Beginners Guide

What is ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy, and what is not ethical non-monogamy? Ethical non-monogamy is when a couple mutually decides to add other lovers or romantic or sexual partners to their existing relationship. I want to be clear: ethical non-monogamy is NOT having an affair or one-night stand(s) without having your partner's consent and support IN ADVANCE. Since the author of the article below explores ethical non-monogamy, I will primarily focus on what it is not. Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) Is Not: Being attracted to someone else and pressuring or manipulating your partner into you being with someone else for your ...

Green Flags For Your Relationship

We are all familiar with the "red flags" to be aware of when starting a new relationship. The green flags, however, do not get as much attention. We have possibly spent too much time making sure everyone knows what to avoid in relationships and perhaps not enough focus on what to embrace in relationships. The list of green flags is an attempt to offer another lens to view and assess what is productive and necessary to thrive and prosper in relationships. Of the 6 Little Green Flags That You've Found A Keeper shared below, I would like to focus on just a few of them. Beginning with being your authentic self around them is key. If you feel safe enough around them to not feel like you have to look, sound and/or be different in their presence than you do with your inner circle, it is essential. Or, from the reverse perspective, why would you want to be with someone who does not feel like being yourself is enough or acceptable? ...

Red Flags For Your Relationships

We have all been there, the red flags in a new relationship. When launching a new relationship, we see these little signs that our instincts tell us to "RUN," but we don't listen. They are attractive, fun, or funny; maybe they have a good job or career, or maybe they are just so different than the last relationship that ANYTHING feels like an upgrade. These red flags are not always obvious to us when oxytocin is released in our bodies, and everything feels magical.

"Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are often referred to as our “happy hormones.” When you’re attracted to another person, your brain releases dopamine, your serotonin levels increase, and oxytocin is produced. This causes you to feel a surge of positive emotion." Adrienne Santos-Longhurst  on Healthline.

When these hormones are released, we are not always able to make intelligent, thoughtful decisions. We tend to act impulsively and jump into a relationship based on the experiences that these hormones produce in us. We tend to attach good feelings to the person and assume that they are the cause of this newfound sense of joy and vitality. Sometimes they are the reasons we feel the way we do early in the relationship, sometimes it is just these specific hormones are doing what they are supposed to do, create offspring. This is why paying attention to red flags in a new relationship is so vital to its sustainable success and our well-being....

Listening and Learning: Communication During Coronavirus

Listening and learning are two essential skills for creating amazing relationships. This applies to couples and partners, as well as family, friends, and any relationship that is important to us. Coronavirus has amplified the need to focus our attention and energy towards clearer communication, especially listening and learning. From my experience personally and professionally as a couples counselor, I can honestly say that we do not focus enough time and attention on the benefit of learning from each other. Most of us feel like we already know our partners, family, and close friends. We do. We also can improve all relationships in our lives by learning even more about those who are part of our inner circle. Many couples counselors believe what is not said causes more harm in relationships than what is said. Listening and learning can support opportunities to create bridges and stronger, more loving relationships. Does having stronger, more loving relationships appeal to you? If so, I invite you to read Terry Gaspard's article on listening and learning during Corona through The Gottman Institute. I am an enthusiastic supporter of The Gottman Institute and am currently receiving more training in working with couples through their institute....

The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship

A few years back, I wrote a piece for Providence Life Coach Dating Success Series - Conscious Coupling . When I saw the article, which is copied below, The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship, I thought it was time to add some new content to this conversation on creating positive, lasting relationships. I really appreciate what Shelly Bullard has written, especially the first quality; "The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship - growth comes first."  This is so important and often overlooked. We are so desperate to make relationships last that we forget that our personal and collective growth as people is an even greater goal. If we grow, our relationship grows; it is inevitable. Many people grow to "save" the relationship. This is courageous, but it is also an end to a means. We need to grow whether the relationship continues or not. The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship - Providence Holistic Counseling Services
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Providence Life Coach Dating Success Series – Conscious Coupling

Conscious coupling seems to be getting a lot of press these days; celebrities tend to make this sort of thing happen - Madonna at The Kabbalah Centre and Julia Roberts with Hindu are examples of when they speak openly about religion or spirituality. I am not sure why this happens, but it does. I have never seen celebrities as people I wanted to be like, at least not those in the entertainment industry. Growing up, many athletes gave their time to worthy causes that I looked up to for that reason in the 60's and 70's. I have never felt drawn to the fact that "so and so" said something means it is something important or of value. However, it does seem that Richard Gere's My Journey with Buddhism has really committed to the study and practice of Tibetan Buddhism without making it feel like a publicity stunt. I happened to be participating in the Kalachakra with The Dalai Llama back in 2000 with Richard Gere and other famous people present for the ten days of spiritual training. They all kept a low profile with no autographs or photos, just like everyone else receiving the training....