Why Connection Matters

Connection matters. It is easy to forget how important connecting with others is, but connection matters. A sense of belonging and acceptance can be essential to our experience of self, safety, and trust. I generally do not publish posts this long, but all three excerpts helped create a complete picture of why connection matters.  I want to add one element to the discussion of why connection matters.

This is similar to when people use the inaccurate phrase, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first."  My experience has demonstrated that we can't know ourselves without being connected to others to reflect who we are, not who we want to believe we are, so we feel better about ourselves. I know deep inside that I am a thoughtful, compassionate, and caring human being because those character traits are expressed easily and organically when I am connected with other humans. When I am not connected with other humans, I have to rely on my current self-assessment to determine whether those things are true or not. History has taught me, and most of us, that our inner narrative is typically either false or one of many parts of a whole self, not the actual whole person.

The problem with the statement, "You can't love anybody else unless you love yourself first." is that very few people, if any, can love themselves without experiencing love in their life. We need to feel love to love ourselves.  We have to know what love feels like to love ourselves. This is another reason why connection matters.  When we feel connected and have a sense of belonging, it is much easier to love ourselves and others. Without feeling love, I can be a bit of a crapshoot....