14 results for tag: Rumi
Reflections on Compassion
"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." Pema Chödrön
"Compassion, however, is a renewable resource. When you are able to feel empathy but then extend a hand to alleviate someone’s pain, you are less likely to burn out. Research indicates that compassion and empathy use different regions of the brain and that compassion can combat empathetic distress.
It is also important to remember that oftentimes, the smallest act of ...
The 3 Core Skills Every Person Needs for Romantic Competence
Romantic competence is not a phrase that has yet reached mainstream culture, but I suspect it will soon enough. Romantic competence includes three core skills: insight, mutuality, and emotional regulation. These skills affect all our relationships, not just romantic relationships. I have reflected on the three skills of romantic competence, wanting to discern if any of the three are necessary. I feel clear that they are all valuable and essential to improving our relationships, especially romantic relationships.
I am interested in what you learn from this fascinating article about the work of Joanne Davila on romantic competence!
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... Change Is Possible – Change Really Is Possible
I am often asked a question that baffles me, "Can people REALLY change?". I am baffled because it astounds me that people do not recognize how we are all changing in large and small ways all the time. However, I do relate to the experience of feeling hopeless that I cannot change enough to enjoy life. This I understand. I can still recall clearly that night in October of 1989 when, for a moment, I felt life was not worth living. An image flashed across my mind of driving my car into my then-girlfriend, who was standing right in front of me, followed by me crashing into the large oak tree across the street. It was clear in my mind. We were arguing in the street outside of her house in front of my car. At that moment, it made complete sense to me. I felt like there was no other viable option.
At the time, I was six months clean and sober in so-called recovery; things did not feel better. In fact, they felt worse. I did not believe I could change. I did not believe life could or would improve. I did not believe I was capable of rigorous honesty as the A.A. Preamble stated; "Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty." I believed that I was not capable of being honest with myself; therefore, I could not recover. I was wrong.
A man who was forty years sober then told me if I wanted to change, I needed to tie my shoes differently. That was the beginning. All the successes I have enjoyed since that night began with one small choice. This is not some cute fable or a new-age platitude. This is my real-life experience of change and growth.
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... A Cure for Loneliness – How To Make Connects That Count
I am not aware of anyone who has not experienced loneliness at some point in their lives. Everyone experiences loneliness or isolation. For many, it is an ongoing struggle. People often assume that others whose friends and/or family always surround them do not experience loneliness. This assumption needs to be corrected. We can experience loneliness no matter how many people are in our lives; loneliness is not an exclusive club for those who are shy, awkward, or introverted. Loneliness can affect anyone, even "The Cool People".
Before we get to the article A Cure For Loneliness, here is a short video with Johann Hari. He is a controversial author, journalist, and explorer of life and people. He has great ideas, even if he is only sometimes on target about why things are how they are. You will enjoy his talk on loneliness. It is less than four minutes.
https://youtu.be/bC2Na1E3iVg
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How Humility Will Make You the Greatest Person Ever
I value few human characteristics more than humility in myself and others. Humility is the foundation of all genuinely remarkable human characteristics. If you cannot accept how great and awful you can be, how can you receive or offer help?
Many years ago, I heard a friend discussing his Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor. He quoted his sponsor speaking on humility, "When I was new, I really needed humility. Today, I actually want humility." This speaks to the core importance and value of humility in life. When we experience humility, we know how amazing and beautiful we can be. We are also aware of how dark and self-centered we can be. We recognize that they are all part of being human.
... Building Bridges or Building Walls
In relationships, we typically either build bridges or walls. When we build bridges, we work towards connection, intimacy, and safety. In contrast, when we build walls, we move towards distance, isolation, discomfort, and/or lack of safety. When we think about conflict resolution, it usually comes down to building bridges or walls.
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Drugs Don’t Cause Addiction: This Brilliant Video Will Change Your View on Drugs Forever
Drugs Don’t Cause Addiction: This Brilliant Animated Video Will Change Your View on Drugs Forever. I do not know if it "changed my view on drugs forever", but it is very interesting, and the work he has done toward shifting the mindset of addiction globally is outstanding. It is time we all let go of the old assumptions about addiction and its causes. They are not correct or productive in moving towards a healthier society or reducing the number of people struggling with addiction, whatever their drug of choice may be.
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