Arguments About $ Aren’t About Money

Arguments. The first time I meet a new couple that I am working with, I ask them to each share why they are here today. Almost without exception, they each launch into a one-sided description of a recent argument, telling it solely from their perspective. In their minds, they are seeking relationship counseling because of an argument or arguments. I ask a few more questions to get a greater understanding of their current challenges. Most of the time, they continue to refer back to the argument or arguments previously mentioned. I will follow that up with a question similar to this, "So if I am hearing you correctly, you are here because of an argument or arguments, not due to a lack of trust, connection, respect, communication, commitment, safety, and/or intimacy?". ...