What I Wish I’d Known Before Moving in Together

Moving in together can be a glorious and stressful experience. The prospect of sharing space, bills, meals, conversation, and a bed can be incredibly exciting.

What happens if it doesn't work out?

What happens if it does work out?

Do we really know each other well enough yet?

Early in the pandemic, I worked with several couples who had just started dating before the pandemic and decided moving in together to have someone to quarantine with sounded better than being alone. I mean, we had no idea how long we were going to be quarantined, so why not? I recognize how funny this sounds, but why not? Couples have been thrown together into arranged marriages for millennia after first meeting each other. It is not like this is a new process.

I really enjoyed the experience of working with new couples just after moving in together, being around each other 24/7 while working or going to school remotely, or not having any work or school, just staying home all day together. If you are curious, many have succeeded. In fact, the two got married the following year and started families together!

Moving in together is not a straightforward process. Patience and flexibility are required while figuring out how to mesh two complete lives together. I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did on moving in together....

The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late

I have heard the statement "The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late" much too often. This is also true for people who are not married or even a couple. We may learn too late in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or anybody. In this case, "The Marriage Lesson" is a lesson for all relationships! The awareness that small things are significant in our relationships is valuable for us all. If someone repeatedly shares something that you are doing or not doing that brings up anger, pain, sadness, fear, betrayal, rejection, flooding, or any other strong emotion that creates distance, I encourage you to listen. This is especially ...

Great Relationships Are Not Accidents

Great relationships are not accidents. It sounds so simple and obvious that it almost feels like it cannot actually be true. I can almost see a pink and purple bumper sticker on an old Volkswagen Bug written in cute letters. How can something as complicated as relationships be so simple, you ask? Great question! The answer to great relationships is equally simple and obvious: trust. Simple and obvious, yes, easy, not so much. When we speak about trust, most people nod their heads in agreement. If we take a closer look at what trust entails, most of us want to curl up in a little ball under the covers....

Green Flags For Your Relationship

We are all familiar with the "red flags" to be aware of when starting a new relationship. The green flags, however, do not get as much attention. We have possibly spent too much time making sure everyone knows what to avoid in relationships and perhaps not enough focus on what to embrace in relationships. The list of green flags is an attempt to offer another lens to view and assess what is productive and necessary to thrive and prosper in relationships. Of the 6 Little Green Flags That You've Found A Keeper shared below, I would like to focus on just a few of them. Beginning with being your authentic self around them is key. If you feel safe enough around them to not feel like you have to look, sound and/or be different in their presence than you do with your inner circle, it is essential. Or, from the reverse perspective, why would you want to be with someone who does not feel like being yourself is enough or acceptable? ...

Arguments About $ Aren’t About Money

Arguments. The first time I meet a new couple that I am working with, I ask them to each share why they are here today. Almost without exception, they each launch into a one-sided description of a recent argument, telling it solely from their perspective. In their minds, they are seeking relationship counseling because of an argument or arguments. I ask a few more questions to get a greater understanding of their current challenges. Most of the time, they continue to refer back to the argument or arguments previously mentioned. I will follow that up with a question similar to this, "So if I am hearing you correctly, you are here because of an argument or arguments, not due to a lack of trust, connection, respect, communication, commitment, safety, and/or intimacy?".

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Relationship Recommendations During Covid-19

We all need relationship recommendations from time to time. In this current pandemic, there are intense pressures on relationships for couples who are trying to figure out how to get along and thrive during Covid-19 or just survive in some cases. Most couples have never had to experience such a high degree of proximity for an extended amount of time, as we need to manage right now. Add in the economic stress and fear of physical safety, and it is no surprise that more couples are reaching out for support and guidance than at any other time in history. Please remind yourself and each other that this is temporary; you need each other, and you really do love each other, even if none of the above feels true at this moment. I encourage you to trust your history and that you have endured difficult challenges before and are still together. And most of all, PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER! This is an incredibly stressful time in every one of our lives. We need to feel safe while navigating this unique global situation. Trust your love, connection, and your foundation as your guides and collective resources. Please be gentle with each other and yourself. Ask for help if you need it.

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All You Need Is Love: Experts on The Changing Face of Modern Romance

What is Modern Romance? Is Modern Romance online dating? Is Modern Romance the same across racial, cultural, and socio-economic lines? How do you experience Modern Romance? Has modern sensibilities killed Modern Romance, or has it grounded dating and love in a way that allows us to be free and equal? Let's see what these dating and relationship experts across several fields have to say about Modern Romance! All you need is love: experts on the changing face of modern romance How are we to make sense of the swiftly changing world of falling in love? Five experts offer their perspective. Mariella Frostrup, ...

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